Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Rainy Day Riffs. Now, let’s get down to business. I’ll be MSTing fanfiction that I feel needs it- and maybe your requests, too, if you find something truly bad enough to be riffed. Anyway, this MST is for Starkit’s Prophecy, a terrible trollfic about… well, a cat named Starkit (our resident Mary Sue) and her prophecy. The author, xdarkrosesx, is supposedly a young lady with evangelistic views and all the eloquence of a drunken weasel with access to a keyboard. Let’s get started, shall we?
By the way, xdarkrosesx posted an Allegiances list before the prologue, and it’s long and boring and not worth to MST. So, I’m skipping it. Onto the prologue!
Chpater oen prouloge
The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright.
These are short sentences. The beige prose is awful. It is starting to get on my nerves. These are short sentences.
However, the decent grammar and spelling gives me hope. Which will probably be destroyed.
“There is a prophecy!” She said. “out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly.”
Holy crap, it’s so vague! I’ll never be able to realize what it means!
“Its about StarKit!” A white tom said. “Shes going to save the forest,”
Could this possibly be… STARKIT’S PROPHECY?
He looked at a gold tom by BlueStar. “she has powers nobody dreamed of.” Said the gold tom. “Should we tell JayFeather?” He asked. “Yes.” Said BlueStar. “he needs to know.”
Yay, Jayfeather’s one of my favorite characters! Too bad his character will be brutally mauled beyond recognition.
She walked away from the pool to tell JayFeather about the prophcy.
did u like it? plz tell me in urm review!
My hope has been crushed. Figures.
Chapter to the rose of a Heroin
Thunderclan, are you dealing drugs again? Shame on you.
ok jazzie-kun pleas dont get mad at me cause your not in it yet. You’l apear soon dont worry.
I’m sorry, jazzie-kun. Please accept my condolences.
StarKit wock up and sunlit was in the branches. She closed her eyes againstill tired. Butter mom wouldn’t let her sleep not today.
Butter mom is such a jackass.
“Sweety its time to get up” said Dawnsparkle; her eys shinning. “Today is important today.”
That was so redundant that it was redundant!
“What is it Mom” said StarKit awake right away. Then the she cat rememembered what today was.
Was it today?
“Ohmigosh its my serimony today!’ she squelled excercisedly. Today was the day she was an apprentice!
She flicked outside not even waiting for her Mom. But her Mom cot up to her quick.
She “flicked” outside? The Sue already has teleportation powers!
“Sweety you know the clans don’t except cat slike use sometimes.” She said.
“Sues are abhorred throughout the clans. We’re usually killed on sight.”
StarKit glared. She didn’t lake beig told that. Just because her Mom was a usedto be Shadowclan cat and her dad was jayFeather the medicine Cat didn”t mean she ws different!
Not only is that very different, but you’re also a Sue. Which means that you’re as different as you can get.
“StarPaw come here.” Said FireStar from the leg. He jumped down.
Whose leg?
“StarKit it s tome for you to become an apentice: he said. “Your a strong brave cat and because of that I will mentor with you.”
Damn, she’s already a mentor and she’s barely out of the nursery.
Ever body gasped. StarKit did too. Se herd hear mother say “Wow!”.
Firehert liked her shoulder. He whispered in her ear “youll be the best their ever was StarPaw I know ti.”
Keep your fetishes to yourself, Firehert! By the way, why have you been suddenly demoted back to warrior?
Surpised she walked away when they were done howling for her./
Howling for her blood! … I wish.
Then she went ofer to JayFeathern and DawnSparkle who were very prod.
“Daughetr where very happy but he have to say something said Jayfeather his chest puffed ouit. “You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly.”
StarPaw gasped. What does it mean?
I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE OBVIOUS
lol I update fast dont i. REVEIW or ill hit over the head with a frying pan! XDD jk
What, over the internet? Plus, that’s Hungary’s job.
Chapter three the Battle 4 the caln
thx jazzie-kun 4 th good review! and stop flmaing the stroy!1 i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1
Yes I can! Check this out:
Starkit ran up to the Highledge, eager to receive her apprentice name. But, when she got there, no one was gathering. Glancing over at the entrance to Firestar’s den, she saw the flame-colored tom exit his den and walk up to her. “FURHSTAR! FIREHERT! I WNT TO BCUM N APPRINTACE!” She shreiked.
“Of course not, Starkit. You’re so brain-damaged that you’d manage to kill yourself while gathering moss.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!111111 1111!” Shouted Starkit.
See?
StarPaw walkd over too the appentice’s den. Insid she saw her sister’s FlamePaw and lakePaw and hr frend JazzPaw (a.n: jazzie-kin ur my bff!) waz slepping on the mos.
What kind of a name is “JazzPaw”? Cats don’t know what music is. You know what? From now on, I’m going to call her Jazzhands.
“JazzPaw get up.” She cried. JazzPaw opend her brlliaint blu eyes and looked at hr.
Calm your tits, Starkit, she’s just sleeping.
“Do yo want 2 go on pattrol wit me?” she asked.
Correction: “Do yo want 2 ask teh warriors if we cn go on pattrol wit them?”
“Sure!” Said JazzPaw getten up from the moss. They leavt and went two the entrnse too camp.
But then, a cat came in thru the entrnce! It was BlackStar!1!11
Where’s Tsubaki?
“Shadowclan are attaking!” She yelled. All the cats came out from there dens. She jumped on a cat and clawd him and he ran of.
Who are you and what have you done with Shadowclan? They would have kicked Starkit’s ass- unless they had pity for her. Which I doubt.
“Good job StarPaw!” FireStar called, “The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter!”
Damn, Sandstorm’s a pussy.
StarPaw was happy. She wus a good fihgter! Maybey this was wat the prophcy meant.
Hey, where did Jazzhands go?
thnkx and ples no more flams
You asking us this doesn’t make a difference, author.
Chapter Three The Traning Under The Star
OMGOSH GUkys im so sorry but SOMEONE glares at rainy days FLAMED ME AND I GOT REALLY HURT. OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know.
The capslock took away the nonexistent gravity of the situation.
Chapter Three The Traning Under The Stars
Shadowclan run from the camp. StarPaw smiled. Shed one! Noone cod hurt her family now .
Even though the rest of Thunderclan was also perfectly capable of kicking Shadowclan ass.
StarPaw!” said FireStar. “Its time we train!” I want to show you how to fight!”
“Ok.” Sad StarPaw happl;y.
Damn, she’s bipolar. She’s gone from happy to sad within one word!
“but yo just saw I culd fight, write?”
All you did was jump at a cat and claw him a little!
“Well, ya.” said FireStar. “But I wnted tol see if that was all you new.”
“Ok.” They went to the frost togather and the other cats cleaned jp the bodies.
Where did the fucking bodies come from?! From what I read, no one killed anybody!
“Ok StarPaw” said Firestar one they got their. “We’ll start with how to dog.”
“All you do is run around like a demented rabbit and make barking noises. It’s easy.”
“Cmon thas too easy!” yelled StarPaw. Shed just beat BlackStar she was ready for anything!
Again: All you did was jump on a cat and claw him a little. Your tiny claws probably didn’t do much, anyway.
“ok Ok” mewled FiresTar, lets learn how to claw an oponit.
HATE.
“Ya.” Yowled Starkit. She jumped at FireStar not Giving hiM time to attakc. “She hit his side he didn’t move he was to surprise.d she clawed him and he started bledding.
Nice job breaking it, hero.
“wow StarPaw” he said “.Your doing awesome.” “Really?” gaped StarPaw. She didn’t think she was doing that god was she relly special like the porphesy meowed?
“Yes StarPaw.” Snarled Firestar.
I’d be mad, too, if some stupid, brain-damaged kit made me bleed.
“I couldnteven get away in fast enough. Only scourg was did that before.,”
“OMGOSH REALLY?”
Get used to the phrase “OMGOSH”. It appears a lot.
asked StarPaw. Scourg?1? THE SCOURG? She dherad so muchj about him he was really evil and killed alot of cats. “I’M LIKE SCOURG?
Of course not, my sweet little bitch.
“I didnt mean it like that” FirePaw sad fastly. “I ment you wer a good fighter. Its really cool.” At that minute he thought to himself ‘Starpaws so kawaii look at her eys and her fur.
No, Firestar! Don’t let the Sue corrupt you! Stay true to Sandstorm!
“Oh ok thanks.” They trained floor awhile later StarPaw beat FireStar 8 times once she let him win to make him fel bettar and b y the last one she was alittle tired.
Firestar, when did you become such a pussy?
“Hey FireStar can we hunt now.” Said StarPaw. “im kinda hungry.”
You don’t ask your leader if you can hunt because you’re hungry.
“Oh we’ll if you want.” Firestar was disappointed he and; starPaw had been having so much fun. So they went huntng, StarPaw messed up a couple times but FireStar said it was okaysince it was only her second time (she’d had her first time when she was a littlekit and she and FireStar had snuck out together that’s why he chose her as his apprentice_.
She had what when she was a little kit?! No wonder she’s so confused. The trauma of being raped by Firestar was too much for her young mind.
Later that night StarPaw locked up at the stars. She and Firestar had’d so much fun this day. Theyd brung back enough food for the hole clan.
Oh, hey, the hole clan! They must be pretty pitiful, since they can’t catch their own prey. They probably live in the tunnels.
Locking upn at the stars she turned to her best friend, JazzPaw, and said, “Do you think well ever be up there.”
No. You’ll be stuck in the Dark Forest forever.
“Ya totally.” Said JazzPaww. “I mean youll be l,eader and I’ll be depudy one day well have too!”
“Ya.” Said StarPaw smiling she loved JazzPaw NOT IN THAT WAY U SICKOS!)
We weren’t thinking you loved each other “that way”- until you pointed out that you didn’t.
they were best friends. She loked up at the stars again and smiled and fell asleep wit the Starcaln voices whisper in her head.
REVIEW R MY LIFE
(lol u like it Jazzy I mead you as kawai as I could(
Chapter For StarPaws decids
flamrs ur all satanits!11 anyon who dosent like the stro is a staneist cause StarGIPaw has such a strng conecton with sTarcaln and thats why you dot like it, its cause u do ntlik JEZUS!
So, what you’re saying is that Starkit is Jesus. That has got to be the dumbest thing I ever-
“StarPaw wok up its tim 4 parole.”
“You’ve been a real bitch to take care of, so we’re letting you go. Don’t steal anymore flatscreens, okay?”
StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eys and locked arund.
I’m pretty sure that “brite reinbow eys” are physically impossible.
“Omigosh who wus tha!1!1″Sshe yellow.
“Its me GrayStipe” GrayStrip wisperd in her er. StarPaw gottedup.
“Omigosh Graystip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. “Wll u be my mat” hE ESked.
“My last rug got shredded by those stupid apprentices. I need to make a new one!”
“OMigosh grayStripe thats so nic!” StarKit scremed. “but FireStar alredy esked me.”
“wel then hes jst an idot.”
Note to xdarkrosesx: Graystripe is friends with Firestar. He would never call him an idiot.
“StarPaw wok up its tim 4 parole.”
StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eys and locked arund.
“Omigosh who wus tha!1!1″Sshe yellow.
“Its me GrayStipe” GrayStrip wisperd in her er. StarPaw gottedup.
“Omigosh Graystip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. “Wll u be my mat” hE ESked.
“OMigosh grayStripe thats so nic!” StarKit scremed. “but FireStar alredy esked me.”
“wel then hes jst an idot.”
Sorry about that. It looks like the author had a copy/paste error.
y do u say tha?” yellED STARPaw GayStrip locked at hr meanly. “i dont lik him” sqeakd GrayStripe he locked arund fastly. “hes a mean cat!
One: Why are you screaming, Starkit? That means everyone else can hear you. Two: “GayStrip” is the most unfortunate spelling error I’ve ever seen. I’m so sorry, Graystripe.
“OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?” STARPAW SHOCKED.
“No ur much prtter then sourg” said Graystripe he licked her on the head I want u to be my mat.” he yeleled.
PEDOPHILE!
“Well mabey. but what would FireStar say?” she wispereed. GrayStripe locked around agan. “I dont think he wuld mind.” said GraStri;e
“OMIGOSH SUR THAN!” StarPaww yelleded happly.
“Wat ar uo ta;kin abut” said FireHert he was walkin up. He locked angrily.
By the way, author: Where is Thunderclan sleeping? The middle of the forest? Because you haven’t established where they are.
“oh uhhhh nuthin FireStar go back to sleep!” mwled StarPaw hoppin he would leaf so she culd be alon with grayStripe.
“Yah FireStra theres nithing to wory about!” cherrid GrayStrpe but Firestar didn’t leave insted he said i thought I herd you asking her to be our mate.”
Firestar/Graystripe/Starkit OT3!
“oh uh yeh. yELLED STARPaw but he didn;t leaf instead he jumped on GrayStripe!1!11
What did you think he was going to do?
“I Want to be wit her!” said FireHart attakin GraySriep.
“No I do!” shouted.
“guysys stop fihting you can BOTH be my mats! StarPaw wispered apply like seCert.”
“No we can;t do that their can only be 1!11 Howled Firestar. “Otterwies youll chet on us.”
Okay, seriously, why has no one else woken up yet? You’re all screaming like there’s no tomorrow.
“So StarGleam, who will u pik?” giggled GayStipe.
Please stop making that error.
Chapter Five Untidles
UR OLL JUST SAINTS
Why, thank you!
y cant u just except jEsuss it wold mae ur life so much mor engoyable u would never haf to worr/ again
Who the fuck is jEsuss?
StarPaw sad “I..i…..” she was so foncusded!
That’s the best fake word I’ve ever read.
Thes to cats hard asked her to b there mates an wht was she supops to do? They we beoth handsome and althing, but bot had matss! Nhd she luvved them both! FirstAr wus so kind and he oviusly likked her allot. GayStirpe-
GODDAMMIT
-was so funny and col.
“!” said StarPaw ass she ruan in to the forest. It wus to muck# she culdnt choss!
I’m imagining Starkit saying “Exclamation point!” Also, “ass she ran”?
She run and ran and run til ur paws her hurtinged. Hen she rrellized she corsed the broader. Oih no she thugh Shadowclan will get me.
That’s just like saying, “Oh no, some guy in a dark alley is going to stab me.” Why are you saying this so nonchalantly?
“wut are you ding here?” sd BalkStar s he waked up.
“I’m sorry!” mewoed StarKit I didn’t men too!’
That’s ok” sed blackStar. “no wons perfeck.””no that’s not true.” Said StarPaw, offed.
“I’m perfect! I’m so perfect that everyone’s personalities bend to my will and no one can resist my sexy charm!”
“StarClan is.””Waht do you mena?” wemed BlackStar.
“well the give us all this halpand stuff” said Starpaw. “without them we wold be lust.” She said.
“We would all be staring at each other’s asses, and then, who would get the hunting done?”
“I gess that’s ter ” balkcStar said, “besid I didn’t relly mean that neway.
“o really why?” said starpaw. “becus yo are.”
‘WHAT’ YOWLED sTarpaw jumping away BlackkStarTried to nugle her. “WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?”
So, when Firestar and Graystripe, two adult toms, are fighting over you because you’re “kawaii”, you don’t think they’re going to “MOLE STRAEP” you?
“e—” BlakStar started too expaln, but, StarPw wass to quick
“no” she Sid “I don’t doned another tom after me!” “I got enog porbelms arigt now anywy!
“but yor pahfect.” Said Blackstar.
Now I’m imagining Blackstar with a voice like a southern belle.
“you betted me in badle you HAVE TO BE “
“NO!” shitted SarPaw Again runnin into the forst.
Starkit was scared shitless! * bah dum tish * I’m sorry, guys. I’m sorry.
Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. ‘its too much” sahe though. “Starcalnb help me….!”
You know, usually I would be calling bullshit on her angst, but she has three pedophiles on her tail. She has a right to be worried.
Chapter Six Desions,
STUP GLAMING!11! IF YOU’R AN FLAM,E YOUR A STNITS AND WIL BUN IN HEIKL!
I could barely understand that, but thanks for the info.
LASTEST TIEM ON STARKITS PROPEHY:;
“NO!” shitted SarPaw Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. ‘its too much” sahe though. “Starcalnb help me….!”
Afert tat StrPaw walkde thru the frost. She wus so depresedded!
She took da steak n slit her rists, and den da world went blak.
Hu was seh sapost to pik?/?/ Then she saw JayFethre cumin thru the forst tords her.
“JayFeathr im soooo confusedd wat do i do she yelled their are three toms atref me! TREEE!”!
I’m imagining Starkit running towards Jayfeather, not realizing a tree was in her path, and then faceplanting into the trunk.
i know” sed jayFethr he locked happy. “thats good four you it menzz that p[eo[le like uo. he told he smilling.
“NO NUT I LUV ALL OF THEM” sed StarPaw back waling upst. “I DON’T KNO WHO TO [ICK!1!1”
Okay, okay, Starkit, we know you’re upset. You can stop with the Royal Canterlot voice.
“wel ten let me tel yo a stor.y said JayFeathern and he sat don. Onceu pon a tiem there were afew cats that I licked.”
Bad Jayfeather. Keep your tongue to yourself.
“hu where they sad StarPaw snifing.
“theyre names were DawnSpark;e and… Stick/ saud JayFeather.
“OMG STICK wispred StarPaw “YOU WHERE IN LUV WITH A STICK? She culdnt belief it. After al this tim she finds out that her fathe loved a sTICK. SHE GAPD IN SHOC.
This is the only rupture of canon that I agree with, because I’m sure most of the warrior fans have shipped Jayfeather and his stick. Jay/Stick OTP!
“Wat did you do? she esked thoug cuase she was crios.
Wel I culdn have kids with a stcik now culd i?”
You aren’t allowed to have kids with anyone, Jayfeather. You’re a medicine cat. Now get ‘er! Slit ‘er throat!
said JayPaw and he locked confuded. LIKE HE DIDN;T EVN KNO SHE WAS GNNA ASK THt qestn.
“sO YOU WENT WITH DAWNSPARKLE INSTD! YELLED STARpaw locking vry happi. “but that doesn;t help me what am I spost to do?/?
“Folo youre hart said Jayfeahr. “Who do yo want to be wit/”
Hmm StarPaw taught for a secund. FireStar!” she yelldd and then run of to tel him that she ;oved him
NO FLAMSE!1!12!1
Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1
STOP REVOFIGN BAD! but than u JASZpAW for tehh godo revewis uve ben levving
Jazzhands, why?
StarPaw skided into de Camp. “FIRSTAR” SHE YOWLED “I ha to tel; uo somesting?”
“nut ow StarOaw” he sadi “yuve gut to become WARRIOR!’
She’s gonna be the very best, like no one ever was… To have sex is her real quest, to save them is her cause!
“MOGOSH REALLY creamed StarPaw.
Damn, Starpaw, you must’ve really wanted to be a warrior.
YEAH SAID firestar “Youv been a war for onll 3.14 dayss butt u are the best apent ice in the cAlan. Ur perfect. We ndd you to help dfeat BlackStar and ShadowclaN. And all teh other calns. Tehy are tyring 2 attack us were in the meddle of a warr. “
That’s kind of sudden. What has Thunderclan done to anyone? Wait… They must be dealing drugs again.
“omgosh WE ARE?” scremmed StarPal she sus so surpissed!
Wait, so was she surprised, or was she pissed?
“Ya DustPelt did while U were away in your walk Rivrclan attacked us.” Said SandTrom. She locked sortaf sad she New FireStart lovved Stargleam.
OMG FORESHADOWING
But it wass ok she newt wht wus best.
Not only is that extremely out of character for Sandstorm, that relationship is not what’s best. It’s pedophilia, for Starclan’s sake!
“OMGoht” sid StarPaw. “Quickk mack me a warrror!”
“Oak” said Firestar. He wlaked up to StarPaw. “aLL Cats Gather Round Who Are Older To Cach There One Prey!”
You didn’t need to capitalize all of that, author.
“Tday we are making a new Warrior.”
The calnn GASPED!
I would, too. The only apprentices in the clan are pretty far away from becoming warriors. They’re only six moons and a couple of days old!
“SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They all new infancy it was she whom was beng mad a warrior.
That’s a nice freudian slip there, xdarkrosesx.
Starpaw was so exited! She’d never bin so hap inner life!
“StarPaw…..” said FirePaw. He was simile like shed never sent him simle behfore.
Geddit? You know, because she spelled smile as “simile”, and that sentence was a simile? Huh? Anyone?
“Are you ready to become a Warrior in the Name of Starcaln?:”
“Yes!” she shock3d.
“oak.” Eh sad. “Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme. From now on, you will be none as StarPaw for your pel which sings like the starss and ur conectin 2 StarClann.
So… Her name was Starpaw, and Firestar changed her name to Starpaw. Got it.
We onner you’r bravvery and” ” kindness.”
I love how “kindness” is in quotation marks, like Firestar doesn’t really mean it.
“SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They
I see what you did there.
StarGleam girned. She wass a Warrior! At least!”
Since when was your name Stargleam?
“FireScar,” she said, cuming over 2 him. “I wanna tell u somesing.” They locked sirously at him.
“yeah wat is it?” he sad, hop shinning in his eayres.
I don’t understand. Was hope shining in his eyes, or ears?
Dos he knew? StarGlema think.
“Firestar….” She brethed.
Author, I don’t like these unnecessary elipses.
She cullednt she was actually dong this after so lung.
“I…..”
Quit it. Now.
WINDCLAN ATTAK! Shioted a voise from obove the Camp.
It was….
I said quit it, goddammit!
HOLYLEAF!
See, if you had just said it instead of pausing every other word, you would’ve been able to confess your love to your pedophile lover before a cat thought to be dead at the time interrupted you.
I workd reall’ herd on dis chapter n tired 2 spell good so plzz review NICE!
You suck. I thought you should know.
Chatter NEIN Teh Evil Tigger and holY
I wish that made sense. But, I’ve got to say, I’m loving the gratituous German here.
I SAID NO FLAMES! YOUR JUST JELOS YOUR GOING 2 HEL LJESS IS OYUR SAVER
According to Google, you worship some guy on Youtube.
“Ohno its HolyLeaf!” yelled FireStra he ranned away. SandStrom wnet aftre him.
Why are they running away? They’re trained Thunderclan warriors!
StarGlaem locked up. HolyLeaf was stnding their and their was anodder chat with hr.
“OMIGOSH ITS TIGGERSTAR!”
You have no idea how much I love this typo.
she hossed. “WHTA WIL WE DO!”
We fight.
“we figt.” saud Jayfeathre and he ran at HollyLeaf.
Uh-oh. I share thoughts with OOC!Jayfeather. That can’t be good.
StarGlema washed as HolyLefa locked at JayFather and kiled him with one shot.
That was so badass. All she did was look at him.
“YOU KILDED MY FTHER!
Prepare to die!
she yelled and she attcked HolyLeaf. HollyPaw gut out of the way and StarPaw attaked TiggerSar.
“U killed TigerStra!” uelled FiresStar he locked happy. “You are speshil!”
Yeah. Really special.
StarGleam was sooo happy, she didng notse as HollyLea grabbed Firestar and took him way.
He’s right in front of you, you dumbass!
“OH NO” yelled StarKit. “WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!
a cilf hunger1!111! see im a god riter i no what thta id thx f4r the good revweiws JzzPaw && everon else WHOSE NIT A FALMER
Aww, so I’m not included.
Chapter Ten The Recluse
“EVERONE FALLOW ME” meowled StarPleam as see charred for th3 entranse to eh camp. Tares stremmed down her face1 she wuss so sad her fahter had deid her leader was gunn. “FLAMEPAW LAKEPAW DUSTPELT MOM LOINBLAZE-
Loinblaze?!
-FALLOW ME.” She said. “I NEDD A PAROL.”
The run into the frost their pass working fastly. She wood kill HolyLeaf and TigerSar for what thed don!
She batlecried using his nose to tar down the evill cats. Her heat burneded!
Hell yeah, Starkit! Work that nose!
Sune they had funded them. They were hidnig bwhind a bolder. “HAHAHAH” LAUGHED HOLylesf putting er claw on FiresTarS thort. “IVE GOT YOU KNOW!”
Kill ‘im! He needs to be put out of his misery.
StarGleam gasped. “noooooo Fireheat!” she scemmed “FalmePawgo!” she said.
STARGLEAM sent out FLAMEPAW!
Flamepaw hurled at HolyLeaf. Hollyleaf laked at her in suprise. “What how could they have fallowd me.” She dogged at Flamepaw her blue eys fallshig.
FLAMEPAW used TACKLE! HOLLYLEAF dodged the attack.
“NO FLAMEPAW” whaled LakePaw seing her sisters about too die. “I LOVE YOU FALMEPAW.” She yowled jumping herself in front of HOlyLeaf.
HollyLaffs paw cutt into hir throt blood came out LakePaw felt down.
HOLLYLEAF used FURY SWIPES! LAKEPAW fainted.
“NOOOO!1!11” StarPaw screamed. “FLAMEAPWWW!” She ran for HoltLeaf but it wass no us. LakPaw was dyeing. “I lofe you StarGleam.” She wisperd before er blue I’s cosed.
“NO WAKE UP LAKEPOOL” shoited Stargleam-she was so sad and depersed she was cyring!
“hahaha” laughed HollyLeaf evil. “u just dunt gedot d o you Im one of teh Tree! I have pows beyound ur emaginating!” nd then…. She turned in…. A BARE!
I think this is as close to a Seekers crossover as we’re going to get.
“Gasped” gasped everyone. It was a bare!
Thank you for reminding us of what you said a sentence ago.
“IM A SHAPSHITTER!” siad Hollylea joyly.
She’s a… a what?
“stargleam.” Said FalmePaw cryingly. “I nedd to go back 2 the damp. I goat bury laekpaw. Ive neverbeen out of camp before how do you get back!”
“U ju wak to te the est. said StarPaw.”
Thaks said FlamePaw crying she piced up the LakePaw and putter on her back and run.
“nut so fast!” said Holyleaf! “Your not gunna get away that easly!” Wit a rar like an volcano erection she jumped at StarGlaem!
That volcano she used as a simile must have been very turned on.
Everone! Gasped!
Don’t! Care!
“NOOOO.” Yowled STarGleam as sumething lung and sarp pluned into her bk. “YOU CANT GET ME THAT EASLY.”
“I’m a Sue, bitch!”
.
Everyone jumped at the HoBare! The bare rared in pane! Starepaw sent her teeth into its for. It rared.
So she shot her teeth at the bare. Okay.
“oak oka” HolyLeafthe bare said. “i no know Your not guna be bettin that esliay.” Suddenly she was a cat1 then her body dropped her eyes went drka she was on the grund.
And then Hollyleaf just decided to die. Alright.
Suddly ther wass howl from the other side of the froste. It was LaFlamePaw!
French!Flamepaw’s name is badass and I don’t really know why.
“LAKEPAW UR BACK!” SHE SAD
WHT SAID SPARGLAME. Thenshe locked. It was LakePool! She was runnin tord the forest starGleam was so appy. Then she sawyer eyes.
….
THEY WERE OLLYLEAFS!
THE PLOT THICKENS
the next chatter wil coke soon! AND STUP FLAMMING YOU HAETRS. YOU JUST DONT BELVE IN GOOD.
No. We believe in evil!
Catter 1 The Fiht Aganst the Sitters 1
“Oh nose!” yellded StarPaw she wus so horrorifed. “LakePaool is buck and seh is NUT OKA!”
That was hilarious. I don’t know why, but that was hilarious.
“Of coarse im not okay!” LakeFall screchemd loadly she issed at StarGlame. “I’m being posesd by HolyLeaf wut do you THINK!” she yelddl and hulrd hesselv at StarPaw. StarGlme was so surpissed she culdn;t mofe
Kill the Sue! Kill the Sue!
Then… “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” It was…
Tarzan!
REDPAW! Redpaw runnth over to StarPaw and jumped in font of herr and LakePolawm hit her insta.
Dammit, Redpaw, you ruined my dream.
“Nuu Redpaw!” chked StarGlamea and she locked at RedPaw. “RedOaw are yu okayo?” she esked upsed. RedPaw cughed. “No im not but at leaat I sawed yuour lif! she sed and then he did. StarFlame locked at RedPaw she wus so buttifly then StarGleam shock her hud. “No Im STRREET!”
That was so stupid that I can’t fathom how the author thought that was conflict.
she taught madly. “but now what do we dao agant LakePaw!” she lucked up. LakePaw was runnen toward Loinblzx and she was WIDESPED!
“NOWWWWWWW LIonHEAR!” wisprd StarGalem and she ran towed LionBlaze and she hit LakePaw, who did to.
I really don’t know what just happened. At all.
“StarGlame I will get u for thiss11 sed LakePaw as SatinClaw drag away to hellClan. He waswerng oink naie Polish. then StarGlame stinted to crry as she realed that her sitter ass ded.
Mah head asplode.
“you killd my Subjt!” HolyLeaf rared turng back in a bare.
Wait, wasn’t Hollyleaf possessing Lakepaw?
“Ilus get you for thi!” she saud and then she rudhed at StarPlame. “Oh o!” yelld every1 “tarPaw got our of the Way!”
What was the point of possessing Lakepaw if you were going to turn back into a bare anyway, Hollyleaf?
Tim semd to slow danw as StarPawlem run awy from the bare. But she ran left into… TIGGERSTAR!”
OH MY GOD NO
“Fuhrstar! yellded a TiggerStraw. “You ar gong to did now!” And he held out… SOME JEW!
I knew TiggerStraw was a Nazi!
“Omg jyew!” elld FamePaw she locked at the yew. “But it wooden work becas thers a lizded on it.” They all locked at the lizard. It wus a newt. The nwt ran away.
lolwhat
“… NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” yelled FamePaw. “Now the yew is gunna wkr!
What was the point of the newt again?
“Ete the yew!” sadi TiggerStar he thirst it at StarGlame StarGleam baked away. “You’re never get moi to ete it!”
On-hon-hon-hon-hon…
she esked and then she held “YOUE NEVER TOOK ME ALIV!”
This is so narmy that it’s actually kind of hilarious.
“are you so sur?” aksed TigerClar and then he lung at StarGlema and grabed her and ran away. “Youl never cathg me!1111 he laght meanly. “Im gong to Shadowcaln!” And then he luf.
Tigerstar, you’re really stupid. Why did you tell the heroes where you’re going?
Guyx I ben working relly hard on this wile I was gon. im sor’ry for the wait. Revew betetr and ill updat mor quick
I hate this story.
Cahpter 12 The Sark Forest
“NO!” yewled StarKit. She run after TigerClaw. but he was to fat. She cudlnt catch up.
Tigerstar is one fat bastard.
Finly she stoped. She was so tried so sad, Teres begun to role down her face: her sitser was deed and tigerstar had ExcapeD!
“y am I so ulsess?/?/’ she dsked. “why couldnt i kill her?” “its not opur falt. Sadi a voice from bedide her. “WHAT WHOSE THEIR” SHE SAID JUMPED.
It juts me. ” said JayWing waking to bedside her. “Yo couldt kill im becas u’re nut dead.” “what” said StarGleam “What dlo you men.”
That whole statement he just made was pretty obvious, Starkit.
“hes in the Dakr Froset!” said JayFeather. “hess allready ded!” oh no what do I do thouth starGeam.
Yeah, he’s dead. So what? Canon allows you to kill cat spirits.
“we can go to teh Dark Forste but its ver danger.” Mewled Jayfeater. “tack me their!” sad StarGleam.
She slepped and then they were in the Fark Forest. It was dark.
No shit.
Here was no mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see. They herd voices! It wass TiggerStar!
“ok tjen well kell her ND invade Thundercaln” he was said. “WHAT NOO!” said StarPaw she jumped at him. she was aboot to hit him when BlackStripe was there! “TIGERSAR WATCH OUT” said BlackStrip. TierStar loocked at her and he clawed her. It wasnt fare!
Life is never fare.
StarGleam fell to the ground blood was cuming from a wand on her sholder.
What.
It was a lot of red blod. HawekFrost Looked at her. She was so buetiful so kawai, he was thought just like FirStar. He loved her. He had to save her.
No, Hawkfrost! I loved you as an evil, conniving asshole!
He jumped in TiggerStar! He bit him! But it wa s to lat. StarPaw was dyeing. “it was turning balkc. “I love you seh said as she did.
AND THEN STARGLEAM WAS DIED!11!111!11111!1!11!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1!!!!!!!1!1A!@!@
Cahpter 13 The Metang wit Sartcaln
A Metang? Please don’t bring Pokemon into this, too.
“Omigish what happnd! shrekd StarPaw. She looked arung. “am I in Starclan?” she eskes when she say the cats that she new.
No. Welcome to Hell!
“No of cours not your in the Daek Forest!” gagged a gray he-cat. StarGlame locked around windly for TiggerStar but she culd;nt sea him. “Yes your in SatrCaln! said the she-ca. It was YellowFang. “Wher else wood you be?”
In Disneyland, of course!
“Yuo dont need to be so red! said StarGlame she was mad.”
Wow. That was really racist.
sorry said YelllowFang but that made me made.”
“its ok” said StarGleam. “but i was in the sark forest so…HOW DID I DYE?
Cats usually remember things like this.
“TigerStra killed you” said BlueeStar cumin over to her. “he can send cats to starcaln even from the drk Foret”
Uhh, author, I guess you didn’t remember that if you’re killed in the Dark Forest, that’s where you spend your afterlife.
“Wait so then I’m died?”
You just asked how you died, stupid.
StarGlame. “What do i do no? I cant safve the frost like this!”
“That why we aer gong to send you bak to Thnduer clan!”
Why can’t she stay dead?
saud WhitStrip. “But we also have somsing very imptent to tell you first.”
“Omg what is it” lauged StarPaw she stinted to jump up and down with joe.
Who’s Joe? Because he’s my new favorite character.
” “I wnat to knew”
“wel their are ten thigs we ned to give you before you goe” said LeafPool-
WHY IS SHE HERE
– and she gave StarGlame 2 rocks with writting on them. “their the ten commons!”
oh no
“OMG THE TEN COMMONDENTS” squelled StarGleam and she was so exited. “I GET TO HAVE TEN COMMNDMENTS?”
oh hell no
“Ya” said BleuStar “we need to give them to the calns but they wont liten. Thats why we nedd you to do it four us!”
fuck no fuck no fuck no
“Okay” said StarGlame and she left Starclan talking the rocks with her.
Damn you.
Chapter Fortene The Ten Commdaments
Stargalme come down in2 thunderclaln camp. It was dark. Their were no cats otusdie. “SLL CATS GATER” she sadi. They cats gatehred. “I have Tebn Conmondants frum Starclam/” she said. The cats gapsed. The started to mummur. “be quite” starGleam sad. Tehy were quite.
Quite what? Pissed? ‘Cause I’m pissed. Would you care to point out how two different religions are able to cross like this?
“here she said pushing th3 roks foreword. “Loack at the them. Yu must fallow these commodents fur your hole lifes if you wnt to ge5t into Starcan.” She said. They loked at the roxk.
Wrong. They have to be good at heart to go to Starclan. They don’t need to follow your Ten Commandments.
“1. thou shat not belive in other goIncesters
One: I believe “shat” is the past tense of “shit”. Two: I can believe in all of the incesters I want, bitch!
2. Dont make any picturs of anyhing and warhip them. If ou do ai will punsch you an ur grankits.
Cats can’t take pictures, stupid. And what about punishing their kits? You left that out. Wait, I’m looking ahead a little bit… Where’s the third commandment?
4. don’t say Starcclan in vane.
Starclan, motherfucker!
5. Work for 6 days and worshipe me on 1.
But who’s “me”? Starkit? I thought I was supposed to worship no one else but Starclan. Hypocrite Sue strikes again!
6. Repsect our mom and dad.
Like you’ve been doing throughout this entire story.
7. Dont kill otters unless in batl.e
Ah, fuck it. I’m screwed.
8. don’t br unfateful to our mat.
Our mate? Le gasp… I thought polygamy was a sin, too!
9/ Dotn steel things from he other cland.
Even Firestar is completely fucked with this one.
10. Dnt lie aboot yiour nieborgh.
10. Don’t be jelos og your neiborgh.
Why are there two tenth commandments?
11. No BENG GAY!f
And what the fuck is this? Last time I checked, you said these were the Ten Commandments.
The cat GAPSED. “Im sorry” said DaysPow. “ive ben a sinner. Ill do better next time!”
It’s okay, DaysPow. I’m a sinner too.
Al the cats agred. StarPaw was happy! Teh were aon the write pat! If hey fallowed Sartclan thay woud neber go wong!
Unless you’re Skyclan. Then you’re fucked.
But suddenly she saw somesting! It was….. REdpaw and LakePaool KISSING
Weren’t they sisters or something? And isn’t Lakepaw supposed to be in Satinclan?
Cohpter Fiften THE TURTH
StarGlam marced ofer too RedPaw and LakePaw she looked angrily. “WhT DID I JUTS SAY?/” she esked. “The elfenth commonment is NO BEING GAY!11
But there is no eleventh commandment! Plus, wouldn’t that be usurping God, or something? And didn’t you say that you’re not allowed to do that? I swear, this logic has completely fucked my brain. Literally.
Oh, and by the way, you sound like an angry mother.
“But I love her!1” said LakePol.(a/n. EW!11 THIS IS DIGUSTING)
They’re just kissing. It’s not like they’re screwing like bunnies right in front of you.
“But its agant the ten commdnents!” saud StarPaw. She wanet over and thurst herslef betwen them. “Do you WANT to go the dark foret?”
Fuck yeah!
“Yes?” ansed RedPaw.
Aww, Redpaw agrees with me. You tell that bitch, Redpaw!
“No you dont” said StarGleam “it’sa relly horribld place.” I kno, Ive been their!”
Were sory said RedPaw and lakePolw. They locked sadly. “We wont do it agan.”
Does anyone else agree that Redpaw and Lakepaw are the real heroes of this story?
“I hope not” said StarGlame turng around and walkin back to FireStar. “We have to show this to the rets off the calns.
Aww, no, please don’t…
“ok said FireStar” “we should go to the Gathern.”
“If we go to the Gathern then I can shoe off the commendments to the other claans1” gagged StarGlame happ;y.
How the hell do you gag happily?
“Cmon lets go!” She ran of not wating fro any other cat and then she was at the Gathern!
“ATENSION ALL CATS” she yelled lepping to the HighRock. ?”I NEDD YOU’RE ATTENSION I HAVE AN ANNOUNCER”
“Omg what is it!11!1” shocked MitsyFoot.
I can’t believe Mistyfoot has been reduced to textspeak in this.
“Is it imptent!”
“Yes of cors its imptent!111!1”! yellded StarGleam “or else I wuldnt be hear!” “I have the ten Commandmeonts and you need to kno what they ar!” She red the ten commons ot to the other calns and theny all bowed down to her. Thank you for teling use SarkGleam they said happly.” “We sont sin again!”
Lies! All lies!
“God” said StarGleam she jumped form the HighRoke.
I know she meant “good”, but I can’t help but think she’s frustrated with the cats who are obviously not as intelligent or kind as she is.
She saw FireStar cumin threw the crowed towed jer.
Firestar must be really turned on by all of those shoulders.
“StarGlame you are a much beter cat then me at this1 you should be letter. Im not deid so ill go join the eldlers insted!” he said and he tuched his noise to StarGleams. “You have to go to the MonStone today to go get your nien lives. Ill go with you and so will JayFather.”
But then Starkit’s tyranny will continue!
Wait, what am I talking about? She’s a Sue. She’s ruled over canon with an iron fist ever since this fic started.
“Kawaii” said StarGlema happly. They left the Gathern and all the cats were cherring for her,
So hod u guys lik eit? it wass so didsuting 2 rite the gya part. HBut thigs are guna be better no inteh clams! Also if ur a bad reveiwer u dont belive in Gosh ull go 2 hekc.
Aww, gosh dang it to heck!
thx guys for the god reveis. !
Chaper Sixteen The Nane Lifes
But suddenly as SatyrGleam was leafing theri was a nose from the bushs and Shadwclan spring out!2! their was TailPoppy LittleCold, RedStrom OwlPad SchorcWind (there from the Alliances I mad them warrior they don apear in the books) and CeaderGeart, and Twanypelt & RustFur, all of BlacStars bets warriors.
Sorry to break it to you, author, but none of those cats exist. Mostly because none of their names are spelled correctly.
StarGleams malting orange swammed with suprise.
And what the hell is that supposed to mean?
What ere they going t do? “StarGlaw” said Blackstar sadly. “U cant becomed leader then it will be inblossble for us to have kitsss!” jhe said.
You could just mole straep her, Blackstar.
“Ive got to do BlackSrar its my detsiny.” You cant fihtg feat.’
“No!” he meowled. “I don’t want to loose you!” “Its oky” sad FireHeart he was called that new sinch he wasnt ladder, he hadnt leafed yeat. “Ya” sad GaryStripe “we lofe her to”
GaryStripe is still not as bad as GayStrip.
“ok” sad BlackStar sadly. They wacked away. StarGlem was glad, she had anew love. Se didnot want 2 dell with this wright now.
StarGleam mead LoinBalze-
GODDAMMIT
– her depudy he take the clkan back to camp. Her and JayFeather and FireStar walked to the MoonPool. “I cant belive it sadi StrGleam. “I can.” Said JayFeater he was smelling StarPaw almots gasped shed never seen her father smiel befour! “Your a grate leddar StarGleam ive always none since the first day I saw yo.”
“Relly.” She aksed. “Relay,” he said. She smiled to for teh firts time in a log time she was really happy! Shed had someny toms chating after her but now this would be Oka!
They were closed to the MoonSnot now.
And that spelling error was when I realized- this person can’t be anything but a troll. Seriously. How can you screw up that badly?
StarGleam was startig to gut a litel nervis. Wha if starClan didnt like her?
Eh, I don’t know, it sucks to suck…
They went ot the MoonPolo. It was a shinny; rotund poll. StarGlean had never sen enythin so buetifly inner life befor. “im so produ of you,” said FireTar his gaze tinkling. StarGleap purSmiled and liked the warter.
It was dark! StarGel am opened erh eyes and she was in a froset. Then there weas lots of stars. ‘like me’ she thoguth lokoing at the star in her foreheed. Then they shinned brighter and there were cats! lost of cats and they were ver starry. Starclab!1!11!
“Are ou reedy” shouted on of them frob the front. “yes sad starKit whe was turbling with exitmente!
“ong of them came up. It was a blue cat. ‘Bullstar’ wispered StarGleam ahstruck. “With this live I gave you liedership said BleuStar puttinger noise to StarGleams. It hurtd! BlueStar wakled away StarGleam wandered ho muck more of this she cold tack it hurt so much she terbled.
“With this life I give you corrage” said YellowFag-
Okay, I know she only missed one letter, but that’s almost worse than “GayStrip”.
-storling up to StarPleam. It hurted like neddles!1
BambleCalw came nex.
When the hell did he die?
He put his mose on StarGleam’s forehed. It hurt lick TiggerSTars class!
I know, right? Being taught how to bounce up and down eternally on one’s tail is terribly painful.
WithStorm stambled over next. “Woth this lift. I give you strenth. Us it well to pertect your clan.”
LeaveWind cam on to her. “Wit this life i give u nolledge.” It hurt like fier!1
She god a liff rom BundleFace form motherlinest a life from TailStar for qiickness, & a life for StoneFur for bravvery. She was shacking she didn nok if she cold mack it!
This is like all of those cliche leader ceremonies, but with one difference- you can hardly tell what’s going on anyway.
And then… frorm the cord…. came…. A LINO!1!11!1
I’m imagining a lion with rhino horns stepping out, and it’s fucking awesome.
SatrGleam GASP! “This is ThunderStar” mowed TallStar. He was the first ledder of Thunerclan!
Sorry, that was actually just a cat.
OR it was called LoinClan.”
Home of LoinBlaze.
StarPaw coudnt breath? She was so exited and so onered! “I cat beliv its relly you ThungerStar she said in ah. “Its meh” said the lion. He toched his mastiff nose-
So the lion-rhino-cat is now just a mastiff? This story is so foncusded.
– to her nose and the pan was worst than ever befor! StarGleam thougth she would de! “With his life I give o HEAR. You have a realy strong heat bfour but is even stornger now, thank you for giving comandaments to the Calns. Wath would Starclan
doo witouth you Now I will giv you a namr.”
“Wat!” shotud StarGleam ass he opened his moth. “I donk want my bame to be StarStar that would be stuped! I want to be called GleamStsr!”
Well, you did something right.
“Fery well” said LionStar doping his head he wold lisent to StarGkeam she was specal. I now pronunce you….. GLEAMSTAR!’
Life get!
Butt as the cats begun to cherr, there was a dankness! The darknest swolled everything! She could small BLODO! Suddenly TigerStar and HolyLeaf were there! In her vishon! She sa them tacking over the clans and ther was an arm of rogues and cats were deing! And suddenly … … their was a cat suruonded by a godlen lite!1!1! It was… HACKFROST! He made all the bad stuff disapare.
Thus, the plot was summarized quite thoroughly and the rest of the story was not necessary.
“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!1!1!11!” yelled StarGleamStar walking up. She juts culdnt be in loe with HawkForest she just could!11!1!11!
How do you come to the conclusion that making all the bad stuff disapare is really sexy?
Chapter 17 Returnr
StarGleam shock her head waling up from the derm. FireStar was looking at her and his gren eys where sorrid. “GlaeStar you were takling in yuour slept are you ok?” he asked. JayFeather looked upsid to.
“Yeah yeah Im fin” StarGleam reponded gettin up. “I just had a badd dream thass all.” “It’s nothen.”
“If your sur.” Said FireStrar and they left the MonoPool and headed back too the Thundercaln camp.
“GleamStar your back!” they said happy, crowding all over her. LakePaw and RedPaw looked sad thou, becas GleamStarg has sad they cant be in luv. But GleamSar ingored them. But she new she had too do somefing more impotent.
Yes, like have sex with cats much older than you are.
“LinoBlaz” she said locking for her deputy.
I knew he belonged to Linoclan! …. At least he’s not LoinBlaze at the moment.
“I nedd you to tack a patrole tothe Sadowclan boulder,” “I need you ro tell BlackStar im leder know.” she said and she turnd and walked over the keader’s den evwn though everone was trying to ask her questns about the serimy. “Guysz let me to to bed” she said shoeing them awy. /”Let me have a niche to myself!”
They all walked away groabling. “She nevwr let’s us have any fun” said BeryNoise. “Thats not kawaii at all.”
Fuck everyone else, BeryNoise is my new favorite character.
GleamStar didnlt care sge was waiting for FireStar. Then FireHert came into her den. “I’m levving” he said and he lef. StarGleam followed him uyelling “WAIT!1!11 Where are you gong?”
“Well I cant be ledder so I’m just goint to leaf for a while. Maybe Ill be a rogue, or maybe I’ll go join skyCaln. Who knows?” Then he luf. StarGamet was sad b/c that was her mentor and one of the cats she luvved leaving but it was ka since thass what he wanted to due.
Why aren’t GayStrip and SandStrom chasing him? They’re pretty fond of FireHert.
“Its oka StarStar” said HawkFrot appearating out of nonwhere. “I mean I love you so its all god.”
“I no” said StarGlea prring she wrapped her tail around HawkFrosts face she dint care that he was a rogue, she loved him. And now they could be togethier!/
So, gay cats can’t be together within their own clan, but everyone’s all sunshine and rainbows about you and a rogue.
Chater Eitheen The Deat 11 11 1
StarKit weak up shed been asleep. Their was ayoll from the capm! She run otides her den she junped of the HighRidge. “I gott to kill ou: somone sadi. It WA.S….. TIGEERSTAR!
“Ttlu.” Said HollyLefa meanly from his ides.
What the hell did she just say, anyway? “Toodle-oo”?
GLEAM STAR welled “GET OUT OF THE CRAMP EVERYONE” she coldu hander it heself.
“No” said BarkFall “we elov you somuch StarGleam we could’nt leafe u” NAD THE CATS FOUT!
OH SHIT I DON’T CARE.
HolyKeaf turned into… a…. FUX! GlameStar surpised. She jopped! But it was too latte!1 The foz was an inc form her face when LinoBlaze apparetd! She clawed him They’re was bold. “noooooo” said GleamStart. She was greif. Teras falled down her sparkling grey checks. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks. Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani..
So, you’re saying that her rainbow eyes glowed like… a rainbow. Captain Obvious strikes again!
It was beutifly thohth HawkForts.
That was probably supposed to be really kawaii, or some shit, but it just comes off as stupid.
“its oyak StarGleam.” said LionBealz. “I doe for you. it makes me gay whit hapyness.”
“LIONBLAZE ARE YOU A….. HOMOSEZZUAL?/?/?/?2” said StG;eamStar. gasp. was here clan bevoming quare.
He’s dying, you dumb fuck! Show some respect!
Bet b4 he colde awnser he ded!
“NOOP” said GleamStar,
lol noop
“HE WAS MY BORTHERS FATHER I WILL AVENGE THOU.” She said. She lapped at HolltLeaf! HollyFale lagged and run “its to lare” she meowled “lock behind u”
StarGleam looked. TiggClaw was scratching DAWNSPAEKLE she run up the he cat clawd him he ran aya. “get pout of here Hacky-kin” she sad its too danheros” “iie” 9meanes no) said Hawkyfrost. “I lobe you my daer I wan’t live you.”
Well, I can barely read it, but it seems that the age-old cliche has come back to haunt us.
But the cats weer goin. Tiggerstar lagged sadly. “you mayt have defted ous this time,” his said “but nest time well be STORNGER.” Then he left. Then HolyLeag left. Then thuneer clan was saf!
“since LionBleaze deid said Gleamstar I nedda new depudy. JazzPaw cum hear. JazzPaw came. “JazzPaw I want make you in warrior. So you can bw my depduey.” JaszPaw smieled! She was so happ! “JazzPaw form now n youll be JazzSong. Also ur my depdy. Anyone have a problem with that?: she was mean bcase she was sad~ no the cats said obdenintley. They new he was sad. They ripsected it,, linblaze was her after all. besider mots of the cats thouhth StarG;eam was kawai when she was mad her eyes robbled. She and hawkFrost slept NOT LIKE THAT THERE NT MAKES THEY WOULD DO THAT YET DONT REMEMBER THE CMONDANTS?
Okay, okay, Starkit. Calm your tits.
Im sorr it tock so logn, but I think I did real god on hese chathers. I was tiered the last one was log
19 The Mirage 1!
The nex mourni StarGleam wock up and HawkForost was still sleppin next to her. She dint wnat to ake him so she letf he then and went to look for a bunch of ctas to go on parolt.
“JazzSong RedPaw LakePaw FlamePelt your all goint on a parolel to the Windyclna broader.” She said and then she went back to her den to wake HawkGorest up she had to tell him sumthn.
“HawkFrost lets get marred.” She cok him up and locked at him expacently as he blined his amber eys.
“Oh sweat that’s a freat idea! he said.” Sould we talthe claN?”
“Yah thats whu I was wakcg you up.” She left the den and HawkfOrst was folowig. “Let All Vats Older To Cath There On Pray Gather Hear Benth The High:edge For A Clan Mettin!
They all gathered even though Milloe was upset that BriadPaw had been hurt. (a/n i havent actually red Fading Eches yet but Ive heard that she gets hurt!1!1!1111″)
Yeah, I’d know they’d all gather whether it was Starkit or another leader, but using the words “even though” just makes the author sound self-centered.
“HawkFrost and I are getting mriaged!” yelld StarPaw happ;y. Everone startwf crapping!
This is because they were terrified that Starkit would give birth to a cat just like herself.
They were soooo happly for StarGstar they new she nedded a mat.
To wipe the remains of the souls she has crushed off of her paws so she doesn’t get her den dirty.
“Do you knw what we shuld do?” called out BubPaw and StarGleam didn’t want to listen to him because he was stpid (a/n just look at his narem how culd he NOT be stupd!1?1)
Good job, Thunderclan. You chose a judgmental twat to be your leader.
but she was ledar so she decided to hurm him.
Whether you meant to say “harm” or “humor”, it still looks like you’re a jackass who looks down her nose at people because they don’t fit your ridiculously high standards.
“What is ist BubmFlit” she esked lokoking at the he cat.
“We should go annunce it at the Gathern!” he said and everony chered. They all aruged with him. So the Thhner caln cats left for the Gatherin. But when they got there… they saw… BullStar was dead! In his palsh was… FLAMESTAR!
Yeah, I forgot who that character was a long time ago. Care to explain why they’re so important?
Chapter 19 The Nwe Love
Stupid falmes! ur all satinsit1s! StarKesus is ur saver y cant u just eccept that.
Guys, I really don’t think this was a slip of the hand. She’s comparing Starkit to Jesus. They’re not even remotely similar.
Also im not a torll!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty!
Well, by definition, trolls are kind of petty.
Btw Jazz are you happy wih the last chpaetr? i no im promised u I wood mack you depduey
gasped! ‘What are ou doing her FireStar” she
said.
Ohh, that’s who Flamestar is.
“I tock over ShaderClan” he said happly.
That’s not something Firestar would do unless they were in a very serious need of a leader.
“I went 2 there teratory n they fondu me there. The told me that BlakStar was deda he was so dpersed when you bcame ledar that he mocitted swisscide.
“He impaled himself through the chest with a Swiss flag,” Firestar stated nonchalantly. “I’m not sure where he obtained such an object, but that’s how it all went down.”
“OMIJISH BUT THASS A SIN” SIAD StarGleam.
“i know rite.” said FierStart “but he was so sad yo woudnet be his meat.”
I would say that committing suicide over rejection is a bit extreme, but that’s not even close to overkill compared to what Ashfur did.
GleamStar was said for a mome. But then she rembered her and Hawkfrost-kun were geting marred! And she was happy again.
“A great leader took his own life because of my rejection… oh, who gives a shit? I’m marrying a would-be murderer I barely know!”
She run towreds the HighOka a;; the cats wer catching her aw she past. They wanderd why she was even more readient then ussal today. It was
bcause she is happy. HawkFirst throgut.
“Cast of all clasn!” se yewled. “I have an nounce!”
“what is it ledder” they all said.
In unison, like robotic slaves. Which is what they’ve been reduced to, so it’s quite accurate.
“HawkFrpst and me…are getting… MARTED!”
The clcats cherred in saw and happy! Some of them where said the enver got t2 be StarGleams mat but they wer happy anyways becas they lovved her and knw what was bet.
“let the marrige begin”
But bfore the marige cold happin… there was a nose! “I WANT HER TO B MY MATE” sdi a vice from Abobe!
“Starclan?” sad GleamSyar?
Even the ghosts want her.
“No.” said the vice. “its…THE DAK FROSET!”
And then therw ere clods!1111 It stared to rain! And..litening stroked! it hert StarFleam!
It’s a bolt from the canon!
It hurt.
Damn, you’re a trooper, Starkit.
AND GLEAMSTAR CODLU FELL HETSELF DID!11!111!1!
1!/
Why did she die? Apparently, being stuck by lightning only hurts.
SHE wock up. Se was in the dark frost she rmebered. It was blak around. “blackstar” she siad wanderin if hed’ wanted 2 see was blackStar a bad cat she wandered she didn’t know if he wod o to teh Fark Firest!
Umm, in case you weren’t paying attention before that lightning bolt struck you, the voice from above told you that it wanted you to be its mate.
She shaw a shap in the dirtence. “BackStar?” shse seda. “its meh starGleam
Then the cat torned arund. It was… ASSFyR!
I’d say that this is a violation of canon, but she hasn’t read the fourth arc, so it’s just a failure.
I know that you’re expecting me to make fun of the spelling error. I thought that it spoke for itself.
Ashfir locked aht her. “gigle” he said “glemstar… ur beatiful….like SquireFlit…i wnted u…to be….my met?”
Impressive job, author. You got the psycho part, you just forgot the part of Ashfur that waxes poetic about his depression.
“NO9999999999999 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” said Gleam.
He looked sad. “what do u mena” he said.
I thought that was pretty straightforward, aside from the surplus of nines.
And then… was BROCKENSTAR?
All your base are belong to BROCKENSTAR.
Chapter 20 STARCALN
“Oh no Broakcnstar!” yelled StarGleam mad;y I can;t be talkin to brokenStar!” And sheran away leaving AshFurt behin her. She run and ranned and runend and then se was at StarClan!”
“Yay Im not at the dark Fort anymro1! she thought happly and then she wasked across the broard and then she was in Starclan!1
“Welcmon to Starcaln said YellowFangn she was stnding ther with LefPool, BrambleClan, SpottedLeaf and BakSrae.
Neither Leafpool or Brambleclaw are dead in canon. I have no idea who she meant by “BakSrae”….
“Blakstar yoyre not in the Dark FGort !” Gleamstar yelled hellpy, she didnt want him to be their she lovd him after all.
I thought you didn’t, and that’s why he committed suicide!
“Of course not” BlackStar relipe. “wy would i be their I mean I luv tou after tll2!”
Loving Starkit = get out of hell free card. That means that just about every clan cat gets a pass.
“well thats tru” reoidned Gleamstar. “but I can’t be in StarCan! Oalready came here once I cant do it agan!”
Well, you’re a leader now, so technically, you can.
“well it looks like you haf. said BlueStar and she said “but we cant send you back to the calns again, this time it locks like we’ll have to REINCART YOU.”
You’d better not.
“Omh Reincartion!” yelled StarGam “you mean like what haopned to CinderPaw?”
“Yah” said CinderPelt comin yp to her “thast what happened t me I was reicnanrt.” She Said.
Why the hell is she here? If this was written after Sunrise, then Cinderpelt’s spirit should be in Cinderkit.
“But it might be awhile” said SpottedPool “after all we have to figre out Ow were going do that firtsl} “go do somethinm elese”
Cinderpelt was reincarnated immediately. Starclan is getting pretty incompetent.
“okay” siad GleamStar and she luf. She heard her namer being called and she turnd around and saw HawkForst standing over her body.
The spelling errors ensure that this isn’t sad in the least.
“StarPaw noooooooooooooooooooooo!1111!11111!1!11!111!” je yowle. “Starcaln how ould you od this to me!” “We were about to get marti.
“Im sorry Hawk Frost” said StarGleam “I’ll be back soon I think”!
Yeah, as a kit, who won’t remember a thing about her past life.
“Wat whose there?” HawkFrost looked around but hed idnt sieantyhing.
“Its me GleamStar” said GleamStra looking at him.
“I cant see yo” he said and he buped into a tree. Then he fele down.
Well, that was a fairly stupid reunion.
“bye HawkForst!” said StarGleam and she left cius she didn’ want to see what would haben when her belocd HawkyForest wock up so she luf.
“hi their StarGlema” said a voice and GlemaGleam looked around. “Whose there!1!11!” she eked and it was… Falled leaf!1!111111!1!11111
Please don’t bring him into this.
Chatpre 21 The Purtle
Felled Leaf what hare you doing here” said StarGlean. “I’m here to dilevere a propheci.” He he said.”I allredy kow about the propheco.” she siad. “out of the darknedd, stargl will come and get rid of the evil tigger and holy.” “Thast not one I mean.” Said Falleb Leaf. “I mean….theyr are dayk throats in the forst.”
Yeah, we already know, but thanks.
“w?” said GlStarGleam “U see ther are still cast who dont belive in Starclan.” “WHAT SIAD GLEMASTARR AFTER EVERTTHING IVE DON FOR THEM HOW OCULD TEHY”
Because you’re an asshole.
“The Dork Forest is tacking over theri minnds. Said Falled Leave.
That works too, I guess.
There using ClodTail and MotWig tu help them.
But they don’t believe in the Dark Forest. They’d deny whatever they saw, anyway.
So you must…. Start….. a war… ON THE DAERK FRSOT!11!1!##! Weave all ben watting for you GleamStar.” And then he luft.
Starlgeam dint have any tim to thick=====think becuse some1 called her nam!
“STarGleam” called SpotedLeaf. “Its time for you to b riencarted.” “YAY” said Gleamstar.
With all the joy of a two year old.
Thery was a portle. She locked at the portel. It was suierling 7 brihte. “Go in thru there” siad BallStar. He loked said that Stargleam codnt be with him but she new hed be ok. She nugled him he felled better.
He could just go back with her, but he’s too stupid to think of that.
then she wandred what woldu happen. “We ont know for sure.” omitted BeluStar. “But it worked b4 itl wokr agaen.’
StarGkeam was abuut to step into the purtel ehwn…. SHFUR!11!
…. Did what?
“NO” HE SAID” I WNAT HER FOR HIMSELF” “quick StarGleam getting” said hestering towered the portle
Justs as she was about to jup in….. HawkAShfur pussed aginst her!
Damn, Ashfur.
She was nocked forwered into the suirling purtle!111
She lookced back to se….ASHFUR Had cum BACK ThRU TO1!11!1
And that’s bad because… why?
NextChapter
You were too lazy to figure out what number comes after twenty-one?
oka im back! i saw the good reviews some ppl gave me and i wnated to come back. Also my friend JazzPaw is helping wit the chapters she healped me with the first tow but after that she didnt’ have internte but hse got it back now. :DDDDDDDDD
Then StarKit wock up and she was in the forest.
“Mew” she said becuse the sould’nt talk becuse the was a kit.
“Hello kitty” said her mother and StarKit lookd up.
The dialogue is just stunning.
Her mother… was HolyLeaf!”
“t!” said SatrKit. She lokce around to see whar she was.
“Were in the Donderclan camp”
I would say that this is a terrible typo, but “donder” means “thunder” in German.
said HolyLeaf “oh look here comes yourfather now!”
Into the nursey came… TigerSar!
Who woulda thunk, eh?
StarKit new ther was soemthing she should no about TiggerStar but she didnt know wat.
“Thass your daddy TiggerStar!” said HolyLef.
Yup, Starkit, thass yah daddy!
“I no that nam” though StarGit but she could thing about it becuse HolyLeaf said “Their are other kits out there go aly with them I have to takl to TigerSar in peace/
StarKit wnet out into the clering and the cats wer stnding over the body of StarStar. StarKit locked arund to see who els was in the clring. Then she saw RedPaw and lakePool sitting by the side sad’y with ther tals line.d.
1. Why are they so sad? She was denying them rights.
2. How can Starkit walk? She was born only a couple of minutes ago.
“I thught StarStar tild you to stop bein plebian?” saud StarKit speking her firt sors.
How do you even know these words?
“How would yoyu no” said LakePawl gettin defend. “Yur just a kit!”
“Your rigt” said StarKit “how do U no?”
Because she was there, dumbass.
“Your HolylEaf’s kid right?” ekd RedPaw. “I think Book and StormFur also had a kit, I think his name is AshKit.”
Random plot exposition go!
“Yuou should go see him” said JayFethr. StarKit new ther was sumthing familr about him to but she could’t remembr what!1!1!1
“Yse I will thanz” relld. StarKit and she went bok to the nursry. She saw AshJit but she dint get to takl to him becuse then ther ewas a yell from abobe the camp. “HAHA LAQWL” yelld a locked up.
“Oh, hell,” growled Lakepaw, “Purdy got into the herb storage again.”
On on sid she saw YellowFagn BrambleCawl, LeafPolo, Wiit Storm and BlueStra and on the other were HolyLeaf and TigerStar!
What the hell are they doing? Having a tea party?
“Its a war betwen Starcaln and the Dark Forest!”
Um, they’re kind of just sitting there.
said LinoBlaze and then… StarKit realeid… her mom and dad… wee EVUL!
Seems legit.
Chapter 23 The
The Starlan warriors stared attakihg the camp! And… at eh head of them…. WAS FIRESTAR!
But he’s not dead!
Yewls shotuted all around Starkit. She run arundo she didnt kno what to do!11! then a warrori ran up she clawed him. Blood porred down his sholder wher she clawed him. He yelled and run away.
I can fight! Thouht Stargleam!
You shouldn’t be able to. You’re only a kit; you should have been trampled to death by now.
She jumped at cat who was rruning he felled abckwered he did. She was godo at thes!11! But how did she know how ti fight? It was a mistery.!
It’s a secret to everybody!
Then a warrier cam up to her! he was very big ans StarPaw was afraid. She didn’t know if hse cold fight a cat liek him! He clawed her er there was red stuff cumming out of her era. “owch” said Starkits he was mad now!11! Anger borned in her chest. She runa at him she clawed him real hard he yowled in pan! Then she bit him on the throught more blood came out. He cocked then died.
She should be considered a mutant demon by this point.
Nd then….. she looked up and there was Starclan warriers running into the camp! There was CorFeather nad his bother EggleWing (ididnt mack hem up oka!11! Craw Feather relly had a brother named EagelWiKit!1) and Bluestar and YellowFang and Spotedleve, BlackStar, WitStarm!
She watched when the cats fouht!1 the Starclan cats drove back the Dark Forste ones. But there was nise from behind her. It wasl…… GITERSTAR!1!1!
“NOO” he said “I WONT LET YOU WIN” And he jupped at BlueStar!11!11! But she scrathed him!11!1 And he dide!11!1111!11!1!11!1!11!
Despite all of the exclamation points and ones there to indicate that what happened was awesome, I thought it was quite dull.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1” SAID HOLYLEAF HER MOTHER. GleamStar saw the sad in her eyes. She ran from carp!
“oh no StarKits hurt someone said. “Lets get her better. “There were allot of cats in the hurt but everone knew StarKit was spescal so they let her get treted forst.
The only “special” thing you’ve done so far is rip a cat’s throat out right after you were born, which is actually quite scary.
When sehe was better someone said “Oh no StarKits parents are gon. Someoen nedes 2 be her parents.”
“Well do it.” Said a cat Star looked aroud it was… REPDAW AND LAKEPOOOOOOL!
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” siad StarKit!
Karma’s a bitch, am I right?
Chaphtrt 22 LEBIANS 1 111
StarKit dind know why eh was so upest, but she new that it was NOT A GOD THINGG for there to be LESBIA.
Her “crusty old republican” sense is tingling.
“Whats wrong StarGleam” asked RedPaw as she kised LakePaw ON THE LISP! “Your just a it why do you not like that ides
“Becuse being lesbna is WONG! StarKti yelled back. “Its against the BibTen Comandamnt.”
You were about to say “Bible”, weren’t you, author?
“How would you know of the ten commandnts ” akxed LekePaw “you werf here for that.”
“I know” said StarKkit thuning “but I somehow now aboot it.”
LakePaol shruged she didnt know how to responing. “Well the ten comadnt sarent’ real” she said “so me and RedFur think its oka.”
These two are the real heroes of the story, don’t you think?
“Come backc to the nursey with us” saud RedPFur “your too youg to be out of the nurseyr for log.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!111!1!” yelled SarPaw she refused to et herself be expod to the LESBITS!1!1!11!”
Hide the gays!
Se ran out into the frost. AssKit folowed her. “Whats wrong StarStar” she asked “why are you so upset!”
“I’m beng rased by PLEBIANS!” StarKite yeled back. “WHAT DO YOU THINK IS WRONG/”
“well come over her” said AshFit “maybe we can make them see the ligt.
Then they walked up to Starkit’s new parents, handed them each a Bible, and asked, “Would you like to talk about Jesus?”
“giggle” siad SatrKit but whe went ofer to AshFur.
But then a cat was coing throug the tress! It was… JazzSong!
“JazzPaw what are you dong here!1!1”! asked Starkit.
“It’s JazzStar dint you hear I got mad letter after StarGleam died.” “It was a sad deth.”
I was laughing, though.
“who is StarGlaem” asked StarGleam
Help, Captain Obvious!
she new the nam sounded family but she didnt know WHAT IT WAS.
“it doest mater” sud JazzSong lets go back to the camp.”
“Yay” said AshFurtk happly. They went back to the damp.
And continued their terribly boring lives.
“No go see RedPaw and lakePaw” said JaszStar “I now they’e wating for yo.”
“finefine” saud StarKit but im not going to like it!
SIX MOONS LATER
That is not how you do the timewarp. Frank N. Furter would be ashamed of you.
“StarKit from this day forwrd you will be NONE AS STARPAW!11!1”! sayd JazzSong. Then clan cheerid happily.
“Your mwneot will be” saiud JazzSeng.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11!111!111!” YELLED STARFLEM!1!111!111
So… Jazzhands didn’t give Starkit a mentor? Okay.
Chapter 25 The Ask Qestion
NO NOT HAWKFROST THOUGTH STARLGEAM. SHE DIDNT KNO WWHY BUT SHE DIDT WAT HIM TO BE HER MEMTOR.
I wouldn’t think she would mind, but okay.
“hi GleamKit” said HawkFrots walking over to here. He raped his tail aroond her sholders.
Pedophile!
“want to tran with me tommorwo?” “Okay,” said Starkpaw.
She went to AsgKit. “Hi she said.” “Hi.” He said. “Hi.” She rippled. “do you want to fo huntibg with me desu ka?” he said. “Ok” sie said.
Ugh, where’s another unintentionally funny typo? This is so dull.
I walked outof the forest wtih AshFir. WE wente into the froste to hunt. He keept loocking at StarGleam. She wandered y. Then he said: “StarPaw… I was wanted know….. if you… owuld be my Mat?”””””? he said.
Dude, you’re barely over six moons old. Wait a little bit.
“ONGOSH YESSSASSSSS SAID STARPaw cause she didn”t nemember ho he was. Fi shed remembered she wound have said YES. And then… from the buddhes…. CAME hackforst.
Hawkfrost thinks love confessions are sexy. Hawkfrost needs to get laid.
“What are you inncolent fools doing?” said HawkFrost.
Looks like he’s channeling “Dumblydore” from My Immortal.
“Shes my mate now.” Said AshPaw. “NO WAY?” said HaekFrost. “I want her to b my matt!”
Keep the pedo to yourself for a change!
Ands then the FOUTH! There was lost of blod. Stargleam cryed! It weas so scaray! “sto” she said but even she coldnt make them lestin.
And thenm suddenly…. THEY WEREK ISSING!
That was fast.
“NOOO WHAT ARE YOUS DOING?” SAID GLEAMSTARKIT. THEY WERE BING GAY! And she ran in the forest!1!2!
jeuss doesent lick people who flmale!
Too bad.
Chapter 27 A NEW CALN?
StarKit ran and ran and run until she got back to the capm and then RedFur was ther waitng for her!11!
“OMIGOSN NO!” reploned StarPa “I CAN;T TALK TO YOU RITE NOW” and she un into the appenticed den. “I CANT LET MUSELF BE SEEN WITH A LESBIAN!1!1!1”
Starkit, you’re an asshole.
“Ad why not” aked RedPaw marcing ofer to StarGkem “I men weave ben rassing you for mons now!”
Honestly, Starkit, Redpaw’s right. Why can’t you just accept it, since you’re a fucking kit and you can’t do anything to change a clan’s society.
“I NO” fried StarGKit “But I just saw HawkForst and AshFuru…and they were… KISING!” She was repued as she said that she couldn;t stand the idaw of HAWKFROST KISTING A GUY!”
And that’s terrible!
“Well thats erfecty fine isnt it?” asked LakwPool coming into the den/ “I mean were gay and there snothing wrong with that!”
“YES THEIR IS”! yelld Starpaw in angry and she RAN FROM THE DEN AND BACK OUT INTO THE FROST
Umm, can’t you just explain why you think it’s wrong instead of throwing a tantrum?
BUT THEN SHE RAN INTO HAWKFORT AND ASHTKI AGAN!11111111!111!1111″
What did you fucking expect?
“YOU! CANT! BE! GAY!” she told them (a/n I NEEDED EXTRA EMPHAS BECUSE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO RITE IT!) but they DIDNT MOVES THEY JUST CONTINUED TO MACK OUR!
Author, stop being an insufferable prick and stop writing about how bad it is to be gay, because we can all tell that you’re sexually frustrated! Get your brain out of your anus and use it for better purposes!
“WHY DONT YOU JUST LEAF” she asked quitely
You clearly have a very different definition of quiet than what is normally accepted.
“I MEAN YOUR NOT EXCEPT IN THIS CALN OF MINE!111!”
Well, actually, they are, in case you hadn’t noticed your lesbian parents raising you from kithood.
“IT’S NOT YOUR CALN!” HAWKFORST YELLED ITS EVERYBODYS CALN”
Thank you for having common sense, Hawkfrost.
“YEAH WELL YOUR GAY!11111!” SAID STARKIT.
That’s what elementary school students yell at each other on the playground.
“FINE” said Hawkforst and he Left With AshFur! “WE’LL GO BE ROGUES.”
“GET OUT OF MY CALN”
It’s not your fucking clan!
So they lef. Then StarKit realized SHE HAD JUST BANISHED HER MENTO.
No shit, genius.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1111111!11
Chapter 27 the Mameries
stpo flameing! whats rworng wth i dont you knowe a good stoary when uk see one? :(((
I do. I’ve read plenty of stories that are much better than yours. I’m sorry, dear, but you’re no genius when it comes to writing.
StarPaw wondered threw the forst madly. She was anger.y. She lokked it was FlamaPelt! “FalmePelt help me she said yor a good steret cat-
As apposed to a bad steret cat?
-what do you?’
“lol i don know do wahat your heart says.” She liked over to her mte NightRain. His blue eyes sparkeld shoningly into her wired eyes thier was one blue won green she was straet not like LakeP. “But dos it really mater? i mean im by so it realy doesnot btw i heard there makicng Satinclan.”
“what noooOOOOOOOOOOO” siad STarKit and NightStorm at eh same time. “NO YOU CANT BE BY FLAMEPETLE NOOOOOO ITS AGANST THE COMONDMENTS” nightrain looked afast!
Well, it’s not like she’s actively kissing the ladies, so why are you mad?
“so who cares! said FlamePaw definsively. “We.” said NigthRAin and GleamPaw. “Why.” she said. “because its bed.” they said.
That was the dullest conversation that I’ve ever witnessed.
“well watever Im going to g join SaitnClan cuase im evil now by” said FlamePelt and she was gone.
So, now she’s a bad steret cat?
“?” said StarPaw beuatifully.
I will laugh forever.
“I DONK NKOOOW” SAId RAINspolash. And he rain off.
* bah dum tish *
Hey, wait, wasn’t this character called NightRain a paragraph ago? That’s really inconsistent writing.
StawPaw was so sad that tears started to rall down her feca. Why nust her famly be so gya. she wandred. She walked and went until her was at the clering. “This is were we meat.” she tough sadly thinking of HawkfRost.
And… then she looked at the tree!111!1!11! it was the same tree HawkGrost had hit put his into lookig for her!1!1!1! AND AL OF THE SUDDEN SHE REMEBERED!31!
verythinga bout hawkfrost and FirwStar and all the oms who lobed her and the propecy and the forest!
“~!11!11!1!1!11!1!11!1!1!1!11!1!1!11!111111” said TarGleam.
It’s like binary, but unintelligent. I think that means, “Duuuuuuurrrr.”
Chapter 28 Shrakking
I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean, but it sounds vaguely sexual.
okay guy
The author only has one fan? Poor kid.
I know its een a wile sinse my last chapta, but no I have somethin to say on th subgect! a few weks ago, jazzy intoduce me to something calld SLASH.
So… you were on hiatus because you were reading fanfic porn. Seems legit.
At firt I didnt liek it so much but then since I new it exited and since i puberty I finaly admtted to myslef that I was…A LESBIAN!1!1!1111
You finally spelled it correctly. Here’s a cookie.
I men i didnt want to admit it first but ten i realizd that its not god to hide my felings. I men I now i usd to be a homophone
* Homophobe. Homophones are words that sound the same but have different spellings and meanings, such as “whether” and “weather”.
but evn thoh im not hapy about having to kno this i know its for the bet. I was awy for soooo log becuase i had to realse tat and aslo i was potsging on the OFICAL FORM. but everone their is a stanist!1!1111!1!
So, basically, anyone who openly hates or gives constructive criticism to your story worships the devil. I’m sorry, but that’s not how Satanism works.
so i letf. and btw i cnat bleive those stupid at dleteed my sotyr!111! :((((( there so mean i mean wat did i do to derseve this?
Here’s a list:
1. Your spelling and grammar is down the shitter.
2. Whatever is left of a consistent plot is awful.
3. This story is a megaphone for your beliefs and judgements, making the canon a slave to your whims. This is a complete no-no.
4. Starkit is a complete asswipe, but she’s got all the canon characters wrapped around her little paws anyway, warping them into unrecognizable saps.
But anywa here is the chapte.
Thanks for nothing.
Now that she remebred StarPaw ran ack to the camp with anew goll. She wanted to tll evyrbody who she RELLY WAS.
I can’t stand plots that run on the author’s life.
Sh got bck ther and past RedPaw and lakePool on there way otu.
“Wher are you gong?” StarPaw questin.
“Were going to Stainclan” repelled RedPaw.
“But why?” sekd StarPaw. “Bein gay isnt a sin anymro!” She whaled afte rhtem.
“But why?” asked Redpaw.
“BCUZ I SED SO< BITCH!” screeched Starkit.
“Oh, Starkit, my queen, I am a slave to your whims,” Redpaw replied, bowing, “but your whims are really fucking inconsistent.”
“it isn’t said LakePaw but you said it was!”
“I kno” saed StarApw “But ive found out abut SLASH.
Warrior cats don’t know about slash, nor can they read. As far as I know, there are no gay kitties in the Warriors series. Stop warping canon.
Infact I’ve relaed that I LOVE JAZZPA.E.”
Assuming that the author is shoving her real life into her fanfiction, this means that she’s openly admitting that she’s attracted to her best friend, who edits this for her (and doesn’t do a very good job at it, I might add). Since her best friend probably has the ideals that the author used to have, I don’t know if she’s going to be alright with this.
“omg relly?” esked RedFur cause she culdtny belief it. “but were still gong to Stinclan, becase wer also ATHIET”.”
I’m also going to assume that the author thinks that being an atheist means that you worship Satan, which isn’t the case. Atheists don’t believe in Satan.
“NO.” StarPaw muttered. “you cant goo! Satinclan is not the place for you. I shuld proly go and call hawkFrost and AshFit back beause they can be ga nwo! Oh and FlamePelt can come back to.
Using the word “muttered” makes Starkit sound reluctant about this whole thing.
“We;l go tel them” saidRedufr and she left with LakePaw. The StaRgleam wen back to tamp and wen she got thair she jumped o the HighLedRock.
“ATTENSION ALL CATA OF THUNDERCLAN
SHE YELeld I HAVE AN ANOUCNEMTN.
The cats . “What is it StarSpaw theu asked
“I HAVE A CONFESSN” SHE YELLD “I…AM…STARSTAR!11!11!111111111!”
Chapter 30 The Revvel!
OMGOSH I CNAT BLEIFE THAT HIS HAS ONLY BEEN UP FOR A DAY AND YORU ALREDDY FMALING!1!11!1! 😦 STOP! JUSES MIGHT LIKE GAT PPPL NOW BUT THAT DOENT MEAN EH LIKKS FLAMMERS
Jesus doesn’t bend to your whims, you whining twat.
“Are you” said BrakenFur.
“WHY WONT QNYONE BELIVE ME” said starGleam and she ran uot of the cmap.
Umm, that was one cat that voiced his doubts. Plus, you can’t expect them to believe you right off the bat.
/=
angry!
Eh, angry! Eh, sad! Eh, hormones!
HOW cloud BrakinFor noy belivfe her after!11!11 And atfer averythign she done as a amaxing kit!She went to Satinclam and it wsa in a clerring just past the thunderclan boarder. She saw all the catd who were in Satnclan and there were….. CXLOUDTAIL AND MOUTHWING!11!1!11!1111
OH NO!
“LakePaw and RedFur dd you tell FlameOelt and NightRani that they couls come back now?” said Stargleam?
“no were all stlill athletes” StarGleam was bout to go home when realized soethinf. There cats were crepping towerd her!11!1!
So, she was just going to leave them there? Okay.
“What are youo doing!1!” said she. SatinClaw wallked up to her now he was earing purple nail pollish and three was a blackk stirpe on his head. “We cnat’ let you left Stargleam he said. you know to muchgt.”
Dude, everybody knows about Satinclan.
HOlyLeaf kumped out form the shadows and turhned into a BOBCAT!1!1!
Didn’t she die, or something? Oh, yeah, she just disappeared from the plot for a couple chapters with no explanation whatsoever.
Bubcat HullyLeaf ran at StarGleam! She hit StarGleam!1!1 Satinclaw came up 2 and hestared to claw her.
But when thet clawed her stomich somtehgn inside of StarGleam hurted!1!1!1!11! IT WAS A KIT111! STARGLEAM COULD FELL HER KITS PAN!
she was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, PREGGANT.
Fuck my life.
“IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE !1!” SIAD STARGLEAM.
AUTHROS NTOE OMG JAZZY POSTED THIS CHPTAE WITHOU T ME SAYIGN SHE OULCD. IM SORRY I DIDNT GET TO ETID TI MROE! I DIDNT KNOW JAZZ COULD USE MY COUTN
It doesn’t matter whether you edit it or not, it’s still worthless horseshit.
Chatter 31 KITS
t00000000t
Stop translating your farts into text.
this chatper made jazsy really upstet she shad she woudlnt deit the chapters anymroe i thinkc she odnest like ne enymore IM SORRY JAZZ I LUVE YOU
You know, I feel sorry for you, but you’re the one who decided to confess your love to her by fanfiction.
StarGleat ran bakc ro the thundercaln camp and she skided into the mediccne tats den.
“JAYFEATHRE SHE ELLED I THINK IM PREGNAT!1!1!”1!”
“What makes yo say that” said JayFeather he came out of the medicine cats den.
” FELT MY KITS” SAID STARCLEM.
“Ok lie down her” and so StarGkem ded and JayFetahr felt her stomah. “OH” she yelled as he pocked a kit.
That was the worst pregnancy examination ever.
“Those are diftently kits” he said “They look like theyr gong to be comign in a few dyas/”
“OMG A FEW DAYS SAID STARGLEMA HOW DID SHE NOT NKNOW THIS,. SHE SAID.
That’s what I would like to know. How did you not notice your baby bump, let alone anyone else?
“If I can aks whose the father” said JayFetaer.
“Ummm” said StarGleam shitting her paws
Eww, do that somewhere else.
“how do I say this. It was…JazzSong.”
THAT IS NOT HOW SEX WORKS.
“WHAT” Jazzong said coming up to her. “HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK I;M A GIRL”
I knwo said StarGlaema but “I LOVE YOU.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1!1111!111!11!1!1!1” said JazzStar.
What even is this?
Chapter 23 The Vist
SatrPaw rnan away she aws tears weire sterawming down her nick. WHY WAS HERE LEAF SO BADD?1!1?111/?12 Everyone ated her1! all ehr family nad frineds were DEED!1!1 shed gone throu so much and now not even JAXPAW her BSET FIREND would hepl here!11?
Goddamn, if you keep complaining to your ex-friend in your fanfiction, you’ll never get her back!
She flet her kits move in side her. she alreayd loved them s o much. But it was hard becuase she loved JazzStae! Her life was so TREIBL RITE NOW. Sudenly a starlcna cat came down from the sjy. It was….. SLIVERSTREAM!1 “dont worry GleamStap” said the silverstream! Itwall all be ok in the nd youll sef.
“i dnot know how it can be.” she said. “it will.” Epxlinad Silberstream.
That wasn’t an explanation, it was a statement.
“I HAVE KITS SILVERSDREAM! IKTS!11!1” SPARKLED STARGLEAM.
O know said StaSilverStream. “but ive ben in yoru place before iknown what it fells like,’ she liked StarkIts fourhead. then she luf.
StarTit snifed. She had 2 get better. For her KTIS. SHHE START wwalking awy into the forest.
I DONT KNOW IF I BEABLE TO UDATE MCUH RIHTE NWO IM SO SADDDDDDDDDDDD T-T
Sheesh, the angst is almost palpable.
Chpater 24 THE BARLE
StrGleam was dooo upset she was anrgy and confusd. Starcaln WHYYYYYYYYYY?11/1/1/11/1!1″ She elld angrly.
“Syarcaln can;t hlep you know!” said an evli vocie. “Theres nothin gthey can do for you!”
They really don’t do that much anyway.
“WHAT WHO SAID THAT” SHE ASEKD IN FAER.
It is I, HolyLeaf!” said the voice again.
All we need now is an evil laugh and a bolt of lightning to make this horribly cliche.
Then HolyLefa bust out. The hole of ShadowCaln was with her and…THE DRARK FOFRST
OH NOOOOOO YELLED STARGLEAME STARCALN HELP ME”
You were just telling them off about a paragraph ago!
And then…the Warriorsof Starcaln came down the sky1 They joined StarGlaem and told her “We wil fihth with you StarPaw because you saved us ocne.”
“Kawaii” said SrarGleam and they stared figthging the cats.
That would be really badass if this happened to anyone but Starkit.
StarStar ahd HolyLeaf pined down when suddenly… SHE FELT A MOVIE INSIDE HER!
Was it The Avengers? I never got to see that one.
“MY KITS ARE COMIGN!1!1111!1!11!1” She owled.
Chapter Thirty Two The Berth
hokkyleaf RUNNING TOWERED HER. but a StarKlan cat named Bublesfor jumped infront of her screamign NPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.
How do you scream that? “Nnnn-puh-puh-puh-puh-puh”?
She jumped in ftorn of her scremaign and HolyLeaf hit him insted!1!1! He died.
StarGlean woudl have ben really upset but her kits were coming.
Bitch, that was your clanmate that just died.
She almost creamed out in paun but she wais a string brave tac and so she didnt. It hirt allot. Dhere was alot of piano in her stomich AND SUDENLY TTHERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWERE111!1! SHE LOOKED DOWN AND THEIR was BRAKE in her stomchi.
Is that supposed to be your vagina? If not, then that is not how giving birth works.
Hillyleaf was finished with bubbleFur so she was cuming tword her agein.
Ew, Hollyleaf, keep your fetishes to yourself.
“NOOOOOOOOO STARGLEAM WHALED.” But just as HOlyLeaf was about to hit her….. IT WAS BLUESTAR! Starglem wtchad in ANGR as BlueStat nocked Hollyleaf over and she put her claws in her throt. She made HoluLeaf unconsece. But be4 HolyLeaf went blak she svratched BlueStar”s! There was red bloud comiming from her chest!111
“I love you JazzPaw I lways have.” iad blueStar when she deid. BLEUSTAR NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” said GleamStare!
I would be sad, too, if it weren’t for the fact that the character you portrayed here is definitely not Bluestar.
She was sad. And jhe hurt from her was going to be so HRAD!11! but looking at BleStars body filled her with GOPE. So she pushed.
AND THE KITS CAME OUT!111!1!
Surprise!
You flameas shoudl stopa beig so mean!1111!11! :(((((((((( dont you know how sda i am rite now? i am going throguhg a rly togh time and if i wasnt a christen I woud b so mad at you right now11111!1111!111!
I can clearly see that you’re pissed, author.
Chapter 333 Nwe Lifes
OMGOHS IM SO SORRY I DIDNT UDPAT FFOR SO LOG! I ws really busy i was tryeing to write a sotry for nationle noelv writing . i got to ten thosuend words!11! also Ii turned 21 on the elebenth!
Please, please, please let that be a typo…
:DDDDDD but anywax here is the new chapter, I shokld be upateing like i use to nwo
Chapter 333 Nwe Lifes
Ther weree threr kits their. One off them was relly flufry and goldcolred one was brignt ornge the secoudn was a tiger. Evn thou she was in AGONYYYYYYYYY StarGlem smeled as she liked her kitens.
“Wat are you gong to cal them” akes jzzSong “ots not my chois remembre I men your the un wo had the kits!”
“Hmmm” thaught aarGlema for a minuet beeofre she said “I thik the gold one will be DaFlufykit and the onrge one wil be FireKit and the tiger stripped one wil be TugerKit.
“GASP” GASPED THE ENTER CALN. “HOW CAN YOU NAME I TIGERKIT DONTYOU KNW WHAT HE DID” YELLED BAMBLECLAW. “HE NERLY KILED ME”
1. I thought you were dead in this story.
2. Why do you care that much?
“Yes I no but haf ou forgoten that hes alsomy dad.” aid satRhleam. “Besuids I like the name.”
“Oka I gues” and BabelClaw wakked away but he was rell pset. StarGlema wihsed he wasunt so sedative.
“I lick the nams” said JazzStaorg and she licked StarHlema on the hed. “There beatiful kids.”
“I no” giggled StarGlema aand we;; love thm for ever and evar.” “
Ugh, I can feel the cavities forming…
Chapter 34 TIGERSTARS ATTAK
BUT THE BATLE WASNT OVERT YET!1!
Wonderful!
All of a suddenly TIGEEERSTAR came runeing towrd her!11 “NOOOOO” he toweled. “I CN TELL THT TOGERKIT WILL BE GOOD! i dnt want a good kat named after me”
Why didn’t you kill Tigerheart when you had the chance, then?
” he said. SO HE LUMPED FOR STARELGM!111
“NOOOOOO.” seramed whitestrom he jumped in front of her. “you csnt hurt her can’t you se she has kTITS?’ “lol” lalueghed TigerStar, “I dont care Im evillll!” And he attacked FufflyKit!1!1
Didn’t you want to kill Tigerkit?
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO” said GleamStar. She tried to get to Fluffykit bt she was to quick. TigrStar scrathecd hsi nose!1! But FlfuyKit was a god firghter like his mo. so he jumped at tigerStar1!1! and so did FireKit and Tigerkit!1 They were all balting together!1!1
They just came out of their mother’s womb! They shouldn’t be able to stand up correctly yet, let alone fight.
“”look at that its amazing.” Said sumone. “There fighting tohether!” Al the clan watched in aww.
Why doesn’t someone help drive off Tigerstar?
“YOU MAY HVE DEFEETED ME THIS TIM STARKIT” SAID TIGERSTar “BUT YOULL NEVER DO IT AGIN!”
My cliche detector says you will be defeated and then some.
he ran way with the DarkFrost. So did Holy;eaf.
StarGelam pursed her nose into Ja Star. they one! She was so hpary. But then… from the darkrsness… came… … … … SHKIT!
Is this supposed to be bad?
Oh, by the way, I think Flamekit just disappeared from the fanfiction.
R.I.P., Flamekit. You lasted about one chapter. We didn’t get to know you very well, so by extension, we don’t care.
Cahpert 34: Back Too the clan
Cahpert 34 Back Too the clan
“AshTki what are you doint here?” asked GleameStar. She didnt se any reson for him to be their righte now btu he couldnt help but fel scarred.
“Im tacking a ckt.’ aid AshFur and he grabed TigerKit and wakeld away. “You rejicted me and so now Im gon aget my refveng on you by RAISNG YOUR KIT TO BE EVIL!1!1!111”
That actually seems like something Ashfur would do when rejected. Here’s a cookie, author.
“GASP NO” YELLED THE CALN THEY COUDNT NELEVE THAT ASHFUTE WOULD O SUCH A TING.
Then why don’t you stop him?
“Not if i can hlpe it” rored FlufKit and he flew towrd AshFur with is calws open. “YOUR NOT TALING MY BORTHER ALIV!”
Al the cats in clan includng StarGlema and JazzFur watched in mazement as the little flufy kit began to attck AshFurt. “NOT MY BOTHER!” FLUFYKIT YELD AS HE ATCKED ASHFUR WITH HIS CLAWS MACKING THE CAT BLED. But evn thoguth he was hurt AshFru stil manged to drag TigerKit off even thoghu the tiget kkti was prosting. FlufyKir fel down and startd to crry.
“Its ok.” said SarGlm and JazzSong as they came to confort the kit.
Why aren’t you going after Ashfur instead? Do you just not care about Tigerkit?
“Im sure he will get back to us eventaly. I men hes your broterh and if hes anythng like you than he s a VRY GOD FIGHTER.
Btu Fluffykit waled loudly anywya. His wali was so loud that it alsmto souded like a trmpet. It was sooooooo loudly that a bnuch of cats ran to see waht was goin on.
And amon them…was FIRESTRA!1!1!1111!11
And this is significant why?
VRY IMPOTENT MASSAGE
Hey guisssss!1!11! It’s ofcialy 12;03 aM on Decmbr 24 CHRISTMS were I life, and I thougt that since its everone’s FAVORITE holyday I would write a Chritmas specil! Some ppl sad i shold.
But b4 that I hav a differnt veirson of eht somng rudof the RedNosed Raindeer! :DDDD Its called… STAREGLAEM THE PRUPEL CAT!1111!
This is gonna be fun, eh, guys?
StarGlema the puprle cat
Was a vrey purpel cat
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! I don’t even have to finish the joke!
And if you evre saw hre.
You wold evne say shes fat.
Al of the othre cats
used to laguth and call her ames.
they nevre let por StarGealm
join in ne kity games
That actually never happened.
then one ofgy Gatherng
BlueStar came to say
SarGlema with our fur so bright
won’t you led the gathering tonigt?
Then al the kites loved her
as they shoted out with gle
StarGlema the purlep cat
youll go don in histroy!
Ok now hers the speciail.
FUCK! I thought it was done with the last bit.
SpottedLeaf cam dwn from the sky to appar to Jay Feather on a dream. She told him that “DawnSparkle will have a kit, and her name must be StarGleam.” JayFather asked how this wad suppoded to happn, since she hadn’t done u-kno-wat with DawnSparkle at that pont.
I’ve heard this story before.
YellowFanng repld. “Trust in GoStarvlan and they wont led you wong.”
So then DawnDparkle and JayFeather went arund fir a while and then the baby started to come!1!11 So the went to an inn but the inkerpr wouldnt let them stay thr.
So, you can adapt the story of the birth of Jesus to replace humans with feral cats, but you forgot that they have no idea what inns are.
So they went to a barn instead and all the other aminals gathered ronnd to see the birth.
So did the foxes, who were attracted by the smell of blood. They promptly killed Dawnsparkle, and the Curse of the Sue was removed from the canon. Jayfeather was quickly teleported out of the barn in the middle of nowhere to the Thunderclan camp. He and everyone else had completely forgotten what happened, and canon resumed as it should.
AND THEN STARKIT WAS BORN!1!1111111!1!11!1!11!11!1
I DON’T FUCKING CARE!!!!111111!!!!!!11!!
Then ther e was a relly brigt star a bove them, and then LionHeart, BleuStar and YelloFang-
-killed Dawnsparkle, who was an emissary of the Dark Forest.
“Wat are you doin her?” asked DawnSparkle and then they said “Were heremto see baby JdSusKit.
Ugh, Starkit is not Jesus.
“Ok come see hier then” said DawnSparkle and ten they all came over to her. The also gave her gold, frankenstein and mir.
Cats don’t know what those are, nor do they know how and where to get them.
“This is our savor.” said Bluesatr. “We know it. We sae t in the stars. Starkit will ne JESUSS!1!1!1!11
Damn you.
Hark the herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled”
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
“Christ is born in Bethlehem”
Hark! The herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!”
Woah, she spelled all of that right! You go, author.
(i copied the lyrics since i didnt know the song)
And my hopes were destroyed.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
I think whoever the author really is just broke character.
CHAPTER 40 TIGERKIT
ONG IM SOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR BENG GON SO LONG!!!!11!!! 😦 scholo was rly hard sinc I goat back they gave us alot of homowork and i was haveing torlble with som of my friends bcaus I am a lesbain now nd they dont unferstand.
How can you expect them to? All of your friends are probably just as evangelical as you are.
U cant b3elieve u flamers are still faleming!!!!!1 WHY ARE YOU SUCK MEAN PEPPLE Y CANT YOU ACPECT ME FOR WHO I AM!!!!11!!1!! im not sory I colled you statinst you ARE othersiwe you woul be nice!!!11!1!!!
SATANISM DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY GODDAMMIT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT
Bbut neway im back and heres the chatper I woked realy hard on it this time!1!!
FIRESTARE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE asked starlgema. “I thogut u were the letter of ShaodWclan now???” “Tes i was but I relied I stil lube you GlamePool he siad. “I herd you and togerStar fihgtnng an so i cam to hlep,” “Wel youre too latr.” Said HleamStar. “Tiggestar took TigerSatr!!!11111!!!!!!@’
Yeah, I really don’t know what just happened.
‘I cna hellp” he said Firstar. “RAELY” aiad STarGleam. “Realy I kno were his hdeout wis” “Omgosh really said Stargleam “Yes wen i wnte a way I was ledder of shadowlnca so i was ebbil for awhiel-
lolwhat why did he need to be evil
-nd I ws with TigerTsar. so i know wre he lives.’
“LESTS GO THEN!!!!!!!!!!!1” YOWLED STARLGMEAN RUNING TOWRD TIGESRTARS. Tjey ran for a log tiem but GleamPaw was so andrenline she didn’t care. But lots of the other cats were tired by thetim they got ther. Tigerstars hidoat was a hloe near the lake. “okay ready TACK!!!!!1111” MEOWELD STARELGME ND THE CATS RUN INT O THE HEOLE.
HOLY FUCK THIS IS REALLY INTRIGUING.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” SAID TIGERSTAR WHEN HE SAW THEM he was rly boldy bcase tigerkit hd been fighting him. Hw was too tired Starlgema roped her claws down his nicke her esyes robbling!!!!11 She was so beutufl in btale thought. Hr bleu fur shone in the moanlight!!!!1 her eyes burned with NGR. She was one of the barviest cats the hades ever seen.
GleamStar clawd TigeerStare vicuously!!1111111! Blood went everwhare!!!1!1 It flu through the are licke a dove!!!111
Sadly, that’s the most poetic simile in this story.
Tigerstar ran away in pain!!111 “You bet me but ist stoo late@!!!!1” he laguged. Then he left.
“What did he mean bu that” StarPaw ondered. Then she locked at tigerPaw. “ARe you okya” se haid.
“OF xourse Im okay IM EVIL NOW!!1!!!1111!!” he siad.
Well, shouldn’t that all turn on a dime because Starkit’s around? It seems that whenever someone is “pure good” or pure evil, every single character around them bends to their will.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” WALLED STARLGME.
DNOT FLAME ME THIS DIME!!@!!! I MEAN IT!111!!!!!
Excuse me, princess! You’re the one who posted this piece of shit instead of keeping it to yourself.
Chapter 42 STARGLEMA’S NEW THOUGHT
Holy shit, she had a thought? That’s the closest we’ll ever get to character development, guys.
Hi guyss I’m bakke.! For a wile I was realy depresed because i found a lot of fanfics on this site which i THINK THEIR MOCKING MY STORY.
Oh, cool, just like me! Thanks, guys!
I men realy theres a strouy about a at named LovelyyKit and one about SparkekIt what is that about????///?// I theink tehyre moking me! If ur readingt rhis and and you wrote one of those bad storiess?,.. i think youre stories arr TROLFIC.S
As it were, your story is one, too.
But neway here is the chapater.
“What will you do no?” TigerPaaw akesed StarKgle.
I’m sorry, but how do you make StarKgle out of Starkit? That is not a valid typo. Plus, StarKgle sounds like a German dessert.
“One of ur belved kits is now aliened with the evil cats!1”
“You cant do taht!” FluffyKit yeld. “Dont you no how much our mom put into havng us ARE YOU REALLY SO DISGRATEFULL!”
“Do uyo think I car TugerStar is beter than all fo you dumb boldens.””That’ss wy I’mg oing to go live with hm and Ill mary his daughter……………..RainStar!”
Who is probably a lot older than you considering that you’ve been out of the womb for all but four chapters.
StarGlema gapes. “your ripping me apart tugerkit” But she coulent do anyhing because then TugerKir tran off afert TigerStar.
JazzSogn came up and burshed againt Gleamest. “What are you going to do love” she aksed quitely.
“Tak a big steak n slt my rists, wht else?”
GealemKit hised. “Im going after them.” she growle.d “TigerKit is my son nad I lvoe him. I have to go with him im soawy.”
This story is attempting to have drama. It isn’t working.
JazSong was sad but she new it was fro the bests. “Go then StarGlapw.” she said “Ill wait for you 4eva.”
All of the gravity of this situation fled at the instance of textspeak.
tarGelam noded and ran of after them. Wehn she got teher she found TigerKit makng out wth a brown cat and she gesed it was RainStar.”What are you dong makign out with this kath!” she yeled abgry.
That’s actually understandable compared to your pregnancy by Jazzhands.
“Moter wat are you dong ehre!” TigerKit shouted. “Why did you felaow me@” GleamstRa sid. “because i wouldn’t let my kit go of alone wen i wasnt wit him.”
“awwwwwww said rainStar sardically but “that’s swet but your not one of us wo we have to kile you. UNLEAS THE MONGOSE!!1”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongoose
Point made.
Tehn sudenly, mongosee!1 It was really HOLYLEAF.
Well, I guess that explains the existence of a mongoose just a bit, but how would Hollyleaf know what a mongoose is?
StarGleam doged to one side. “Nowait! she eleyd” “I want to talk about this! I wnat to be on of you guys with TigerKit!”
“Nice try Gleam but we can se RIGHT TROUGH YOUR LISE SAID RAINSTAR NOW KILL THE INFIELD!” THEN THE MONGOSO ATAKCED!
BUT SUDDENLY BTFORIT COULD RATH HER THERE WAS JAZSONG AND FLUFLYKIT AND EVERYOEN1
That was the most anticlimactic Deux Ex Machina I’ve ever seen.
They all rard at the mongose the Holyleaf! It rant away; and StarGkeam was happy. But RainStra hised.
”We cant turst you oif your friends keep coming to safeve you!” she tud. “Now leve befor we cal in FeatherPaw.
“FeatherPaw?” gapes FalifuKit. “He is my boyferiend!”
When the hell did that happen? It hasn’t even been a day since you were born.
Your boyfiend” RainStar snorkled “but Im stright.”
Why does that matter? We’re talking about Fluffykit’s boyfriend, not your hypothetical girlfriend, Rainstar.
“So” said Flufykit “pont be such a hobophobe”
“iI;m not but in straight.” said rainstar.
“But thats not athe point
came a voice and it was………………tigertsar!
Thank you for re-railing the barely existent plot, tigertsar.
“StarGlema what are you doing here” asked iegrStar “do you want to die”
That’s actually slightly more badass than Tigerstar usually is in this fic.
“No” said StarGlamr I want to join your group because………..I’M EVIL!!!!!11!1!!!!1!!1!
The author is making morality black and white to the extreme. Since she is the ultimate good in this story, those who oppose her, even for no reason at all, are considered the ultimate evil. It almost seems like good and evil are categories instead of moralities in this fic. If you don’t like Starkit, you just head over to the “Evil” club. That’s not how good and evil work. We classify certain traits to be good or evil. For example, giving a child a lollipop free of charge is considered “good”, while shooting said child in the face and ripping out their still-beating heart would be considered “evil”. However much I hate Starkit, she is technically “good”, and just switching groups does not constitute a sudden reversal of morality.
/two cents
“~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~” SAID JAZZOSONG.
How do you say that? “SQUIGGLESQUIGGLESQUIGGLESQUIGGLESQUIGGLE”?
CHAPTER 43 THE PALN FOR THE BATTLE
WHAT NO STARGLEMA said JazzXong her blue eyes weid with sad. ‘You cant do thsi you’re my matte1!!!!!”
Too fuckin’ bad, Jazzhands. She’s “evil” now.
“i have too” satrGlamestar said angishly.
Ye gods, we already have enough angst. You don’t need to make it an adjective.
“its my destinty I no that now/” “This is awsom mom!11” said Tigerkit “now were on thes ame side!!”
“Let’s go murder the rest of our family together sometime!”
“I dont know “ said RainStar said. “r we sure shes not a spy???” “Dont worry Lakepool said she’d joind Satinclan to. “It’s all for the brest.”
Apparently, that’s the only reason the lesbians are joining Satinclan these days.
“NOOOOOOOOOO” Fuggly kit yowlud he waws really upse t cause he lovved his mom but now she was EVILL!!!!11He ran away into the forste.
It’s okay, Fuggly kit, it’s just a phase.
Starkit almost yollwed NO WAIT FUFFLYSTAR but then she rembred she was evil now so shee just locked awy.
Replace the word “evil” with the phrase “one of the cool kids” and my point is made.
Insid she flet sad was she relay suposed to fullfil the propesy when she was fighting for the Sark Forest!!!?????
Hah, good point, fanfiction. Would you like to explain why this happened besides to add a sad excuse for drama?
Mab shed been the wong vat all along.
It seems plausible. I’m not sure what Starkit is, but a wong vat is definitely a possibility.
She wlaked away in2 the forest with TigerKat, Rainstar. Nd LakePopl. Hoq could sStarclan have berayed her?????? it mad her so FURICOUS1!!! By the time they got to TiherStar she was reddy tofight agiants them!111!1111!11!!!!
“Okay Dar Frost cats emuncated TigerGleam standing on the stump, GlameStar looked around and saw there were lots of cts had acred arund the smtp. “Tomorrow were gingo to atakk…. THNUDERCLAN!!111!!!”
How convenient.
Allf the scat SCRAMED in aporval. Starlgame did to but insid she was CTYING.
Ahh, but you’re evil now! Why the hell do you care?
Oh no she thohtgh wat will i do????? Ive git friendd in thunderclan!!!! But she had 2 do it for TigerLit he loked so hpapay here happer than hed ever ben in the forstet!!
Hmm, that’s actually a good point. Why don’t you just drag him back and re-convert him? Being “good” is just like joining a club, after all.
“And……. STARGLEMA WILL SHOW US THE WAYA!111!11!!111” said TigerStar.
He did not say that. He screamed that like a crazy jackass.
“shell be th first there so he can show ho lyal she is too the AArkforest.”
NOOOOOOO tought GleamStar. But she siad “ok TogerStar I will’’
This terrible excuse for drama is stupid. Make it stop.
THE BAFFLE FOR THE FORST HAD BEGAN!!!!!11
Chapter 44 A SUPRIRSE
StarGleam ran throug the forest as her paws skimed the ground liek she was flyying. Al of the cats of TigerStar’s gong ran behin her.
“Faster GleaStar!” Tigerstra hissed. “We need to get there befor the sun goes down.”
“Why” asked Glamestar. She was confused why would tey need to go so fats! “Because well have to spend the nite if we dont. saud TigerStar
Uhh… why would you need to spend the night? Aww, were you planning a sleepover, Tiggerstar? That’s really nice of you.
“and we wouldt want that to hapen?
StarJelam nofded. She ran fatser. Tehn…………….THEY WERE AT THE TUNDERLAN CAMP!
“NOOO!” YELLED JAZSONG SWHO WAS GARDING THE ENTRANSE. “QUICK EVEROEN GET OUT HER AND HELP ME FITE!”
The capslock key needs some therapy to recover from its rape.
All of Thundercaln came out for the batle 1 there was JazzSong and RedPelt and LinoBlaz and JayFether and DawnSparkle and GrayStrip and everyone! Byt Stainclan was bigger they had TigerStar and RainStar and FeatherPaw and LakePool and TigerKit and mos important G;EAMSTAR!
That very last part sums up the entire story.
And so they atacked the camp! It was a realy long bat;e but StarPaw was’nt getting hurt because she was STARGLEAM.
And is Starkit one of the Three? No. Does she have any special powers? No. She’s just an annoying Mary Sue. I really would stop reading this fanfiction if I didn’t promise someone I would finish this MST.
But sudenly………
THE TRIBE OF WATER!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!1!
Aww, don’t bring those poor fucks into it. They were just living innocently in the mountains; they didn’t do anything to harm you.
… Wait. Why are they here, and how did they get here just in time?
“Oh1 She who runs with leaves!” RainStar and LakePolo gasped. Tehy both recognized the shecat at the head of the group she was one of there friends. “Help us figth!” they beged her.
AND SO THE ENTIRE TRIBE JOINED THE BATTLE!
That whole sentence was spelled correctly! Here’s a cookie, author.
Chatper 45 THE DEATH nd berayal!!!
Can Starkit die, please? Please?
starGleam fought bsied She who reuns with leaves. theyre were out#ing the Thunderclan cats. StarGleam clawd a cat and blood sarfed the air she said “Take that ThdnerClan traiters!!!!!” but inide she was thinking I cunt do this!!!!!!!111!!1!
Watch your language, Starkit!
And then………. FIERSTARE WAS BEING ATTACKED BY TIERGERSTAR!!1!!!!
“NOOOOOOO NOT FIRESTAR” thought GleamStar. She watned to help her leider But TigerKot was on her sid and she had to fight for him.
But then someone was savving Firestar!!!! It was…… davFUFFLYTIK!!!!!!!!
Alright, no points guessing for who’s going to die in this chapter.
ILL HELP HYOU HE SAID SHOUTING IN FRONT OF TIGGERSTARS CLAWS
Let the poor capslock key go.
“no FlfuKit don’t your too young”
It’s okay. Cats who are as old as a couple hours after birth can surely deal the final blow to a seasoned warrior!
sia d FreStar but it was too kate. Fluffykit ook the bolw for him and he was blood!!!!!1]
Fluffykit was blood? Creepy.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” siad StarGleam she coudlnt take it anynmorew!!!!!!
Why didn’t you just stay with Thunderclan so that this didn’t have to happen? You inadvertently killed an innocent kit!
she lumped at GietrStar and knocked him off her kit she started to lick FluffKit but TigerKut attaked him then he turned he said “Mom yur evil remember???” but tears were running down her checks and she said no “Tigerkit I’m not!!!!!!!! You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly. And i alwyas thought the tiger was TiggerStar but now I now…… IT WAS YOU!!!!!11!!!1111 its a elf fulfing propecy!!!!!”
Ooh! Plot twist!
“what.” said TigerKit hi shocked. “No thit cant be right!!!! I now I’m supossed to be vil and so are you!!!” but SternGleam wasn’t littening. She was locking at Fluffkyt who was bleeding.
“Plese don’t die FluffyKitd,” she sobed. Her tears were make rainbows.
Wait, so were her tears rainbows, or did her tears make rainbows appear? Either way, that’s really contrived.
Fluffkits fluffly golden fur sparkled in the sunlight when he said “I have tos tarGleam its my detsinty.” He closed his esy and stoped bretheing.
R.I.P., Fluffykit, who lasted all but five short chapters. We won’t miss you too much.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!” said StarGleam she was haretbroken!1!! shed never been so sad before in hir life!!!!!!!
But then….. someoen said “HAHAHAHA” she heard and she looked around it was…… HOLYLEAF! shed killed TIGERSTAR!!!!!! ‘You gav me a disraction. Now I can rule the forest fo rmyself!!!!!!!!” she said evilly. “TigerKit will help me!!!!” TigerKet went to stand beside her.
I am so bored right now.
GleamPaw was about to say NIIIIIIIII BUT THEN she got ANGNRY.
Well, you can compromise and be one of the angry knights who say “NIIIIIIIIII”.
“No” she said” Your NOT going to rule the forst” and then……. HER KAWAII ORANGE WYWS STARTED TO GLOW!!!!!!!!!!11111
Anime magical girl transformation, go! KAWAII DESU, MOTHERFUCKERS!
STARKITS PROPHCY WAS ABOUT TO COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay! Maybe the story will be over then.
omgosh sory I tok so long to get these chatper s oot. schyul got crazy and i had some turble with Jazzykun but guess what WE’RE FRIENDS AGIN!!!!!!!12111 its awesome shes accepted that i lovo her and shes ok with it now. but neway were geting really close to the end!!!! ts gonna get RELLY good!!!!!!!!!!!1111!
Well, uhh… I’m glad you’re happy, I guess.
to he flarmes, STU!!!!! >O jedeus talt people to be nice and whyarent youd oing that???? you need to learn it it will help you out allot!!!! But to all the niece ppl who review my sotry bless you 7 thank you i aperciate it allot, withotu you i night notve writen this story tat all!!!! ♥ n_^
Ugh.
THE FINAL CHAPTER 46
FUCK YEAH!
“This is wat you get for mesing with ME!” StarGkeam slowed, her orange eyes glwoign so bright that they coudl be sene from the mono. “I’M SICK OF AL YOU INFIDS” she crocuhed down and barred her fangs.
This shit’s about to get real.
“Oh no!” Jazzsong sqeald. “Shes about to atack! Everyone get ouf of the way!”
Al of the god cats ran away and hid undee a reee as the ground staered to shake. Then sudeny, the enter forest was evelpd in a brialt gorange glow and the screms of many evli cats could be hard.
I’m assuming that the bright orange glow was the return of Satan.
“ACCEPT JESUS MOTHERFUCKERS!” StarGleam screched.
That was actually kind of epic.
When te glo went away there were no mor evil cats. TigerKit and HolylEaf and TigerSar wer al gon, that they had disapeard. The Other cats in Satincaln, like RainHeart and LakePol, now had no ledder to fallow now that there leaderd were ded so they were god again.
YAY! Can the chapter be over now?
“The prophcy of StarKit has com true,” saud JazzPaw as she came out from under the tre. “StarGleam you are our svor.”
“Not for log” said Gleamesta and she fel on the ground, brething hard.
Oh, is she going to die? I’ll be right back, guys. I need to make some popcorn.
“That was realy hurt it tok a lot of enrgy I do’nt think I can fight anymore.” She closd her eys as JazSogn wailted in horor.
“No.” JazzSong wispered in dismal, racing up to the dieing shecat. “No, no no no! Please GleamStra! Plase be okay!11” there came no reponse.. Ever one stodo and gased on at the sene before them. “StarGlema! Wake up! Please! Tears began to wail up behidn her eyes like a dam rady to brake.” “S-stargleam…….No…”
* eats popcorn * This is getting good, guys. The only problem is that it’s really drawn out and contrived as hell.
JazzSong bured her noes into StarGleams wam fur. “We’ve gone to far!” we’ve been throught too much tofethee for it all to end here now! GleameStar… I LOVE YOU!” LakePool and RedDSpalsh exchaned a lesban glance, than began to quitly pad toards ther ding savoir.
How do you exchange a lesbian glance? Is there some type of secret code for lesbians to express their thoughts without being heard? For example:
Redfur: * blinks twice and winks with each eye * (Hey, let’s have hard sex tonight. I’ll bring everything you need.)
Lakepool: * winks once * (I got you, girl. My body is ready.)
“DON’T TOUCH HER” JazStar spat, tares fowing like watrfalss down her checks. Then more quetlyly, she whipered, “Don’t……
The sappiness is starting to clog the nerve endings in my brain.
GlameaStra’s signed whisker twihed ever so sightly. “Jazzsong….…” She breahed. “Closer……” Jazzpwa kelt closer to her, her wihskers barley bruhsing StarPaw’s cheks. “I…….I wish I cold stya…. And I wold if I could…. But… She pased”,
Who’s “she”? Was Fluffykit secretly female, or something?
violinly caughing some of the smoky out of her lungs her body shuttered. “I……JazzSong………..I CAN SE THEM!
“Who? JazzSign walied, tears roloing. Who can you see?”
StarGlem closed her eys and smeled weekly. “All of them…..…even FluffyIt, JazzSongo! StarClan is bekning me…”
Then why don’t you just leave?
“No, GleamTra, no! Plese! Say it isn’t so!!11!!”
That last phrase was really funny for some reason.
befor the she cat coudl repond, she was beten by anothet strom of violint coufghing. StarGlema udered a unarticle mew, shakking uncotrolablly, and finaly colasped to the ground, clenhed paw sloowly unfoding like the leg of a ded spidder. StarGlem’s once brigt eyes no loger held there shiner as they started off into the disnatce. A momment pased, and her eyes slowly cosed.
Ding dong, the witch is dead! * throws popcorn into the air like confetti *
The clan stod in silents, quiely morning their tragik lose. JazzSogon wailed and buried her fac into GleamStars fur. She sobbed uncorrolably, her tail ficking back and forth in a vilent moton. “GleamStar! GlemaStar! Please! Come bac! No! StarGleam…….starGleam….
The moionliss cat inhailed.
FUCK YOU JUST DIE ALREADY.
Her voice bairly audoble. “It is so…….I’m sory… I love you too, JazzSong. Never forgp that.”
“StarPaw……….”
I may be gon…. but I stile life on…”
“How, GleamPaw?” Jazzsong stifled. “Where?”
“In…….your heart….” Stargleam singed.
Aww… How incredibly stupid.
“My……hert?”
“in the herts of you, and everone in the clan………Your lovving mamories-
Don’t bring Jazzhands’ tits into this, Starkit.
-will kep me aliv in your sols and I will also live on….” Stargleam toke one last dyigng breathe, raking her hole body with the eforrt. “…in Jesu Crist! The cat once again grew stil, and a gim silenche sept over.”
So, is she dead now?
“….StarGleam….”
FireStar was the firts to spek. “Every one! Look at Stargleam! She’s……….GROWING!”
Goddammit! Just go away.
nd inded she was. JazzPaw gapsed, leping back from the lumisect corse. GlameStar’s body ros into the air, small ligts apprearing arund her liek lighting bug. They swilled around her, puling her father into the sky. Lights began to shrine through StarKit’s fur. The clan watches in aw as their savor slowy began to dispear into millons upon millionss of the lights. They swrled in the air abovve, slowly astending into Starcaln. The last few flits of sparke twined out of sight… and GleamStra was no mor.
That never happened to any other dead cats. I call bullshit.
“Well.” Muttured RedPaw. “I gess thats that than.”
You sound just as grumpy as I do.
“Must be.” said her lesbian parter LakePaw. “But what wer thos lights?”
JazzStra stood and meowed, “The souls of all Starclan and Tunderclan….”
Did Starkit just steal the souls from the whole of Thunderclan? Bitch.
“And Jessus” Redpaw said thoghtful.
“Yeah.” JazzPaw said, miling warmily. “and Ejsus.”
Yay! We’re finally done! FUCK YEAH!
EPILOUGE
FUCK NO!
Hai guys! 😀 I guess were at the end of the sstroy. It makes me kinda hapy and kindof sad at the smaet time.
It just makes me happy. Very happy.
but i had lots of gun riting it 9eventho some saytanists FLAMED me glares0 But anyway I wanted to rexomend listening to Rome and juilet overture by chekhovsky when yu read his chapter. ~
Too late, you should have informed us earlier. I’m done with this shit.
I know I aredy said this allot but I cant say it enogu, thanks you so much 2 everyone who liked this trory!!!!!11! =3333 u were what mad it wot it even with the flames, even when it got deleted even when Jzzy didnt like me and i got relly dpressed. So may StarClan light your path! :D!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( jsus does too!!!)
Just get on with this shitty epilogue.
RedFur and LakePol walked out of the nruseusy their kits walkgint behind. “Hello” siad HawkFrost from the Hirghock, he was depudy now that GleamStar was dead dna JazzSong was the lder. Him and JazzStar wre mates now nd she was prengint, FlamePelt was leader while she was gone. “hi Hawkfrost siad Lakepolo and REdfur happly, they were friends now.
That would be wonderful if I actually gave a fuck.
RedFur loocked around her. there were cats were rebulidng Thonderclan piece by peace she could see JayFether dragging in some sticks, he looked happy she thought. he hadn’t looked this happy since StarGlema was life.
Hey, Jayfeather! You’re back! I’m glad you thought Starkit was a bitch, too.
She was glad. Also she saw Firestar and GaryStripe building up the apprentices den and SandStorm helping them, NightRain was helping with the miedince den.
ReFur and LakePal smiled at heach other happily. Life would never be th se ame without StarLeam but it could be better agin.
“Hey mama” said one of their kits it was BlueKit in honour of BlueStar. “Whose STaraGlame.”
“WHAT said LakePOol afast, dont you know at alll?”
They shouldn’t care.
‘Don’t be so hred on them LakePool,” said ReddFur “their jus its.”
“Well alrite” said LakePpl, “listen close.” Allt he kits came closer, especially StarLit. RedFur wandered if she culd no about who she rlly was.
‘’You see once there was this xat who was born with a porpecy about her……..” RedFur lsitedn as her mare told the kits all about there ant. as she was listening she looked up ath he sky wherethe sun smiled down at her. then she realized….. it really was smiling!!!1111
Aww… That’s really fucking stupid!
StarGleamStar was looking down at them all from Above. “LakePool look” she gasped and LakePool did look so did the kits. The StarGleam slimed even widder and winked a shining eye. Then she was gone.
“look at that,” siad LakePool smiling the kites asked what was going on but she just said, “she relaly is watching after all.” RedFur and LakePools eyes met and therei tails twinned, and they jissed.
Eww.
All was well in Thunderclan.
…………………
Soul looked on from abve the canp. He was bemeaing gayfully. everything had goen like hed wanted it to.
All of this was Sol’s plan? That’s a pretty funny plot twist.
He locked up at the sky were he knew GleamStar was watching & the rest of Sratsclan. His work was done. Everythang was going to be
returned to its normal state because Starkit was dead, he planned to kill all of the insufferable original characters, and then canon could resume as it should. The (Fucking) End.
Oh, and if you’re wondering where the real end of the sentence should be, there was none. This piece of shit doesn’t even end properly. I’m not surprised, and neither should you be. Anyway, if you really wanted some shitty credits to go with your shitty story, here they are:
CREDITS
MUSIC CHEKOVSKY
STORY XDARKROSESX
WARIROS ERIN HONTER
EDIT 4 A COPPLE OF CHATPERS JAZZSONG
WARRIORS CARACTURES ERIN HUNTER
ORIGINAL CHARACTURS XDARROSESX
EVERYTHING ELSE YOU!!!!!
THANK YOU FOR READDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aww, thank you, too, xdark.rosesx. I had a great time. If you actually finished this MST, I’m glad you have a long attention span. The next MST will be for Stargazing, a much shorter Portal fanfiction. Thanks a bunch for reading, and add a comment below of your thoughts! Advice for future MSTs is well appreciated.
Rainy Day Riffs 
jfc this is hilarious butter mom jazzhands
Perhaps you could mst this interesting warriors fanfiction I found. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10534387/1/desitny-of-angelkit
This was hilarious and I couldnt stop laughing at the comments, thanks for the good read!
I’m glad you enjoy my blog. Thanks a bunch for the badfic! I’ve been having a hard time finding truly awful fics that are more obscure.
I found a badfic you might wanna look at. First few chapters aren’t so bad, but the rest goes down the drain.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9579579/1/Of-Angles-and-Dmonz
Thanks for this! I’ll consider it a Christmas gift. As you can see, I haven’t riffed anything in a long time.
I laughed when you said Where’s Tsubaki?
Nice Soul Eater reference. I was listening to it while reading this.
Do PRSAINBOWKITS DESKINY!
Oh my gods, this is one of the best reviews I have seen. Nice Hetalia and Soul Eater references too.
I laughed so hard while reading this, you are awesome! Thanks for giving me and my other Warriors friends tons of great laughs!
Oh my gods this is awesome! It made me laugh soooooo hard!